I Have Man Boobs

No, not really. I just needed to lure y’all into my post here by using tittehs as my hook. Works like a charm every time–especially if you’re into men with breastesses.

(courtesy manboobsguide.com NOT. KIDDING.)

(courtesy manboobsguide.com NOT. KIDDING.)

Man boobs are very popular these days. I mean, I keep seeing stories about ‘em all over the place. Nothing can contain them it seems.

Case in point:

From BBC.com

Increase in male breast reduction surgery

Apparently in the UK, men with squeeze boxes they wear on their chests don’t like wearing them no more. So, men are getting them taken down a cup size or two or three, and in 2011 roughly 790 of these surgeries were performed. This number has doubled in the past five years. In boring doctor terms, this condition is called gynaecomastia.

I guess men don’t like the nipple tenderness and the embarrassment the manly mams cause. Guess they don’t like having their tits stared at on an hourly basis EITHER. It’s like a mammary quid pro quo. I wish this surgery wasn’t an option for some men because then they’d have to deal with motor-boating jokes and nips that are allll about living the high-beam life.

Of course, now that men have boobs, modern medicine is jumping through worn out bras to figure out a way to help ‘em get rid of them.

Huh. Most men spend their whole lives wanting to fondle the goods, but once the good lord has blessed them with a pair of their own, they no likey the jumblies so much anymore.

Have a piece of irony pie.

I have a rule I follow, wanna hear it? Sure you do: Never date a man whose boobs are bigger than yours. It’s just smart living.

Secksy.

Secksy.

Why were these invented?

What do you spake of, dearest Julia?

Oh. WHITE CHOCOLATE LIFE-SIZE BABY HEADS.

 

I hate chocolate now. (courtesy of Huffington Post)

I hate chocolate now. (courtesy of Huffington Post)

Some person who hates babies and grown-ups, felt they were necessary for the planet. Now, this person must be destroyed, or at least never, ever be let out in public again.

20 thoughts on “I Have Man Boobs

  1. And daddy never sleeps at night. . . .hilarious, and just so happens we were talking about this song at work a couple of weeks ago in reference to one of the guy’s girlfriend’s fake boobs. Also, this post reminds me of the one episode of Drew Carey where the one guy is doing the drug trial and it gives him man boobs! Good times!! Thanks for the guffaws and the follow!

  2. I’m not sure which of those images is most disturbing. I think it’s a three-way tie. If I ever met a man who had bigger boobs than me, though, I’d probably weep for him. That poor bastard.

  3. You know, I am thankful for a great many things. Today, I am thankful I read your story here abouts 4pm. That gives me a good couple hours to get my BRAIN BLEACHED! 8O
    You is one sick effer. That’s what I love about ya! :D

  4. Lots of those man boob contest contenders need to put down the BEER, the estrogenic factors in hops leads to bigger man boobs. I’d like to say I can find some sympathy for them….but yep, clean OUT.

  5. Groucho once got un-invited from a studio shooting of a Tarzan movie when he told the director he would never like a movie where the leading man’s chest was bigger than the leading lady’s. That was decades before Schwartzenegger.

Push it out, shove it out, waaaaay out...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s