Something to sink your teeth into

(courtesy of theinsider.com)

Girlfriend needs to up the voltage and lay off the Lithium cocktails.

Kesha Made Bra out of Fans’ Teeth

From Female First.

“Ke$ha made a bra out of her fans’ teeth.

The ‘Die Young’ singer recently asked her followers to send her a tooth each and after receiving over 1,000 canines, she decided to create a bra, headdress and earrings out of them.”

Let me get this straight–when you’re sans talent but are kept around for our amusement (thank you media!), and you’re none the wiser to our mockery but continue to add to our collective misery by doing stupid shit … wait … where was I going with this?

I’ve never heard her braying, but from what I understand her voice is shrill enough to reverse the flow of the Chicago River (again), cause the balls of men to tuck up into their innerds, and … to get her fans to send her their chompers.

I find it hard to believe that so many people thought the swimming pool game ‘Two Times Up & Three Times Down’ was a real one and not just their summer girl’s way of getting you out of her hair while she flirted with the hunky (but closeted) lifeguard. But those dolts seem to believe this woman who looks like a used up ASU sorority girl has enough talent to warrant them yanking their pearly whites from their maws and sending them to her.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Well played, Mayans.

A drop in the bucket

It seems like I’ve been all about cops these days.

One would think that the universe would give me a break on the cops-behaving-badly-storyline but apparently, that desire ain’t in the stars.

Of course it happened near Cleveland.

Courtesy of Cleveland.com

Dare gets 10 NE Ohio police officers in trouble

Seems *cough* innocent enough, right?

To emulate President Obama in the debate against that cuntdonkey Mitt Romney, “Please proceed, Governor.”

“MENTOR, Ohio (AP) — A veteran northeast Ohio police officer who put his head in a bucket of urine on a dare is being disciplined by his department, and nine colleagues who paid him for the task are being reprimanded.

The News-Herald in Willoughby (http://bit.ly/T32yKo ) reports an off-duty Mentor patrolman completed the dare last month, using a bucket from a makeshift urinal at a football game. Online video of the incident was reported to the city.”

Did someone say VIDEO? Why yes, they did. Sorry if my feigning surprise seemed phony in a Holden Caulfield kinda way, but I still suffer from this bad habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt.

And of course I’ve posted it for your viewing pleasure. FYI, it’s grody to the max.

Sooooo….the cops involved were reprimanded because they egged him on and each paid him fitty bucks to stick his noggin in a bucket o’ piss.

Let’s sit with this one a while. He, a grown man with responsibilities like carrying a gun and upholding the law, was dared to stick his head in a bucket of piss. Urine. Pee. Human waste. Recycled beer.

Apparently being a public servant ain’t what it used to be with the high pay, great bennies, huge fucking pensions and all. His friends felt the need to supplement his income but only if he worked for it. Now.. hmm…how could that be accomplished whilst drunk?

Let that wash over you while you also wade through this final tidbit:

“An investigator reported that several officers who were involved described the incident as “disgusting” but said they didn’t think it violated the department’s conduct code.”

So much for being a cop 24/7.

There is nothing left to say.

 

 

 

Major League Pantomime

I was alerted about this vidya earlier today by one of my sisters, and it still makes me cackle like a scary old broad who’s watching her mangy, rabid dog chase the neighborhood chirrun out of her damn yard.

This happened at a recent Chicago Cubs/Pittsburgh Pirates night game at Wrigley Field.

One caveat here — I am not a baseball fan. It’s not something I follow, but I will go to a game from time to time if the ticket is free and I’m plied with enough alcohol. Kidding about the alcohol part. Ok, ok …I’ll go if there’s an unlimited supply of ballpark hotdogs and Coolie Coos (or whatever they’re called) waiting for me at the park.

I do know this much about baseball: The Cubs blow donk and Wrigley Field is the world’s largest beer garden–but probably with more piss and puke strewn about, and guys with up-turned collars on their polo shirts and backwards baseball caps. Ew.

Plus, I used to live near Wrigley, and I grew weary of Cub fans from Schaumburg sullying my neighborhood with their shitty beer vomit and Schaumburgian ways. And the post-game puke on my car always killed my sunny disposition, and that memory is still knocking around the obsidian-like part of my soul.

However, this performance may restore my faith in America’s Game or whatever it’s called.