You KNOW you wanna go

And, the best part is when you gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, you’ll be in the best place for it.

The South Korean city of Suwon has opened “the world’s first toilet theme park.” About an hour outside of Seoul, one can go to this Labyrinth of the Loo and learn all sorts of fecal fun facts, how the toilet came to be and feast their eyes upon a dazzling display of bedpans.

The park itself was built around the home of the former mayor, Sim Jae-duck and has had a flush of visitors since opening this past July. Affectionately known as “Mr. Toilet”, Sim founded the World Toilet Association and started a movement about how important it is to the world to have clean, safe sanitation. He even wrote a ripping good yarn named “Happy to Be With You, Toilet.”

Sim’s love affair with all things commode when he was born into shit-filled poverty. Perhaps that had something to do with it–being born into poverty in Korea during, well, any time come to think of it. Sim died of prostate cancer in 2009.

“He was a man whose life literally began in a toilet and ended at a commode-shaped house,” said Lee Yeun-sook, manager of planning at the Mr. Toilet Sim Jae-duck Foundation.

Now, there’s a job that would be a gas to have.

 

 

Settle? NEVER!

Looks like I’ll be covering this case next month.

It’s a doozy too.

From Justia:

“Eilman, a college student, was arrested outside an airport after behaving so badly that agents had called police. Eilman had developed bipolar disorder following an auto accident the previous year. She had not taken her medication and did not tell the police about her mental-health condition.

By phone, her mother and stepfather told officers about her disorder. They did not believe the stepfather and the officer who talked to her mother did not share the information.

Officers thought that Eilman was being difficult or was on drugs. In custody, Eilman alternated between calm and manic.

Officers released her into a neighborhood she did not know, near a public-housing project with an exceptionally high crime rate without returning her cell phone.

She was raped and either jumped or was thrown out a seventh-story window. She suffered permanent, serious brain damage. In a suit by her guardian under 42 U.S.C. 1983, the district court denied some of defendants’ claims of qualified immunity.

The Seventh Circuit reversed in part, noting that whether police should have understood Eilman’s need for medical care is a factual issue and that police may have made her situation worse by releasing her far from where she was arrested.”

Hmm..I smell the stench of Chicago Police Department cover-up.

I know, perish the thought! Word on the street is that both parties were talking settlement–something to the tune of $100 million. However, it appears that the city of Chicago would rather fight this than settle. Fighting it out hasn’t worked so well for the city in the not-so-distant past. Don’t believe me? Read my coverage of the Anthony Abbate Jr. civil trial at gapersblock.com.

This is a horrible case, but I’ll be there. Stay tuned.

Target as a target

I got this the other day.

“Julia -

In the last week, over 230,000 people have signed my petition asking my employer, Target, to change its Black Friday shopping hours to let employees have Thanksgiving dinner with our families.

The response from media has been incredible, too — I was interviewed on the Today Show, and my story has been covered by CNN, the Wall Street Journal, Good Morning America, NBC, and major newspapers across the country!

When I started my petition, I didn’t expect it to get this much attention. Shortly after my petition took off, Target employees in others stores across the country were inspired to take action as well by starting their own petitions. The response from both employees and customers alike has been unanimous — Target should set an example by stopping the trend of retailers opening earlier and earlier for Black Friday deals. 

We have real momentum, and this Monday, I’ll be delivering my petition with over 230,000 signatures to Target Headquarters – click here to join us and add your name.

After I was on TV, my manager offered me Thanksgiving day off. But I declined. This isn’t about just me — it’s about respecting one of the few days retail workers have a year to spend time with loved ones. 

I know that Target is feeling the heat, and the more signatures we have to show them on Monday, the more they’ll feel pressured to change their Thanksgiving hours. Sign my petition now.

Thanks for your help — and Happy Thanksgiving. 

Casey St. Clair
Corona, California”

Let me get this straight–in this shitty shitty piss piss fuck fuck economy, you actually have a job and while it might not be your ideal job, it’s more than a lot of us have. Also, Ms. St. Clair has worked at Target for a while, you know, BY CHOICE, see.

Target decides they want to open on Thanksgiving night because, well, they are kinda choady but hey, they’re not here to be all PC n’ shit–they’re here to make a big, ass buck or two. In order to open on Thanksgiving night to deal with the throngs of shoppers who have some sick desire to get away from their alcohol-fueled, overstuffed gobs and feuding holiday family fun time to load up on gifts to give to their ungrateful, spoiled spawn, Target needs its employees to work. I know, I know, that’s crazy talk!

Target employees got wind of this and the whining wah wah wah starts. And since online petitions are the latest “It” Girl, someone decided to start one protesting big old mean Target. Then, the media gets wind of it as does Change.org, and now we’re being bombarded with online bitch and moan sessions.

Give me a break.

Here’s an idea: If you don’t want to work holidays, don’t get a job in retail.

In other words… SHUTTIE.

Not the mostess

Something must be said about all of the ridiculous whining, bitching and moaning surrounding the closing of Hostess.

The waxing rhapsodic over crappy junk food has broken the Douche Bag Meter, plus this senseless waste of words and thoughts makes those partaking in it look like dumb-fuck Americans.

I’m jealous of those who have the type of lives where losing sweet cakes o’swill sends them into a sort of self-flagellation, like they’re going to commit some sort of junk-food withdrawal induced suicide. Give me a break and more important, get the fuck over yourselves.

No wonder other countries hate us.

PS: Ten bucks and a case of Entemann’s says another company will buy Hostess and once again, Twinkies, Suzy Qs, Cupcakes and whatever else was spewed out of that factory, will be lining the hips, thighs and gunts of diehard fans from sea to shiny sea.

A drop in the bucket

It seems like I’ve been all about cops these days.

One would think that the universe would give me a break on the cops-behaving-badly-storyline but apparently, that desire ain’t in the stars.

Of course it happened near Cleveland.

Courtesy of Cleveland.com

Dare gets 10 NE Ohio police officers in trouble

Seems *cough* innocent enough, right?

To emulate President Obama in the debate against that cuntdonkey Mitt Romney, “Please proceed, Governor.”

“MENTOR, Ohio (AP) — A veteran northeast Ohio police officer who put his head in a bucket of urine on a dare is being disciplined by his department, and nine colleagues who paid him for the task are being reprimanded.

The News-Herald in Willoughby (http://bit.ly/T32yKo ) reports an off-duty Mentor patrolman completed the dare last month, using a bucket from a makeshift urinal at a football game. Online video of the incident was reported to the city.”

Did someone say VIDEO? Why yes, they did. Sorry if my feigning surprise seemed phony in a Holden Caulfield kinda way, but I still suffer from this bad habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt.

And of course I’ve posted it for your viewing pleasure. FYI, it’s grody to the max.

Sooooo….the cops involved were reprimanded because they egged him on and each paid him fitty bucks to stick his noggin in a bucket o’ piss.

Let’s sit with this one a while. He, a grown man with responsibilities like carrying a gun and upholding the law, was dared to stick his head in a bucket of piss. Urine. Pee. Human waste. Recycled beer.

Apparently being a public servant ain’t what it used to be with the high pay, great bennies, huge fucking pensions and all. His friends felt the need to supplement his income but only if he worked for it. Now.. hmm…how could that be accomplished whilst drunk?

Let that wash over you while you also wade through this final tidbit:

“An investigator reported that several officers who were involved described the incident as “disgusting” but said they didn’t think it violated the department’s conduct code.”

So much for being a cop 24/7.

There is nothing left to say.

 

 

 

Lookie here

The McCrabass blog is a distraction for me–it’s fluff, it’s fun–aka it’s mental masturbation.

I consider my blogging as a sort of “Artist’s Way” minus the touchy-feely-I-was-once-married-to-Marty-Scorsese-but-he-dumped-me-so-now-I-write-how-to-books-for-wannabe-artists-aka-bored-housewives –but with box wine, chocolate and Bikram yoga. Oh and dark purple highlights and buttloads of salty language.

Simply put, I’m a writer who blogs for fun. I’m not into that brand-building bullshit. (Side note: what the fuck is branding anyway? Why are we supposed to brand ourselves to each other? What the fuck does it have to do with the price of eggs? It doesn’t help people get meaningful work, believeyoume. It’s basically a bullshit term made up by marketers. You’re only a brand if you’ve been heated up on the range where the deer and the antelope play, and used to tap some livestock ass.)

When I’m not thinking up and composing posts, I’m writing my book and looking for a gig. That type of writing is my true calling, along with journalism which I happen to do quite well when given the opportunity.

The following list is made up of folks who are great writers and use their blogs to display their dog-given talent. Some days they write more than on others by using words and images–or just words or just images–kinda like yours truly here. I’ve been reading these folks for a long time now and I suggest you check ‘em out. They write to write, not for the nebulous glory of Internet awards but because they love writing. Oh, and they all have something to say which is the mostest important aspect.

I’m not going to write up brief descriptions of their work because you need to do your own heavy lifting. You won’t regret it either.

In no particular order, if you may …

Reinventing the Event Horizon

Squathole

Lame Adventures

The Learned Fan Girl

Marguerite Darlington

The Musings of a Storyteller

Lloydville

Jonathan Turley

Rufino Cabang

CREW

UnfetteredBS

Robert Loerzel

Adventures By Kim

Violet Blue (NSFW)

Love Letters Are Dying

Herlander-Walking

Learn ‘em, know ‘em, love ‘em.

Brave Little Beezlebub

“The voice sounded like Eli Wallach.”

I understand hanging on to an appliance because it works well. Hell, I was telling someone just yesterday that I’ve had my hair dryer for 20 years. Sure, it’s all scuffed but it still dries my luscious locks real good and pretty.

Do you think it means anything that I hear Pia Zadora when I use my dryer?

Sign me up AND praise Jesus!

(thanks to dlisted.com)

Help McCrabass out please…

Do I really need to give a flying fuck/fiddler’s fart/red rat’s ass about these two people? I don’t think I do but all of social media is screaming that I need to make their overvalued lives my moral imperative.

Seriously people, if you’re soooo obsessed about the love life of two pre-moisties who happen to be talentless hacks, then you need to either up the voltage or start drinking heavily–OR BOTH.

No wonder other countries hate us so much.

Straight from the horse’s …

I don’t know how to finish that sentence. I also don’t know what the hell to say about this.

Aussie Michael Francis Klan Sends Video of Himself Having Sex with Horse to Ex-Wife

from Moral Low Ground

An Australian man has been sentenced to two years’ probation after being found guilty of having sex with a horse and then sending his ex-wife a video of the shocking event.

The Queensland Times reports that Michael Francis Klan, 36, of Fairney View pleaded guilty to carnal knowledge of a horse, or bestiality, in Ipswich District Court. Klan recorded himself raping the horse and then sent his ex-wife messages asking if she wanted see video or photos of the crime. After sending her a video, she notified police and showed them the footage.

Crown Prosecutor Caroline Marco called Klan’s shocking actions “disturbing and abhorrent,” and a psychiatrist testified that he needed specialized treatment for his zoophilia and other issues.

While Judge Sarah Bradley concurred that Klan’s crime was “disgusting” and an outrage to the community, she took into account the stress he was under due to his failed marriage and other problems. Bradley sentenced Klan to two years’ probation with the condition that he get any treatment programs deemed appropriate.

Steve Kissick, Klan’s defense barrister, said his client has found a new girlfriend, who is standing by him during his ordeal.

Concession Speechless

Now that Mitt Romney is a footnote in presidential campaign history, more info is coming out about his last few hours of his campaign. For example, he didn’t have a concession speech prepared–and it showed. Turns out, he believed the swill that was coming out of the right wing noise machine, and didn’t feel it was necessary to compose TWO speeches. We’ve all seen his concession speech–I use it as an insomnia cure by playing it on a loop with “Lawrence of Arabia.” He probably composed that little ditty on a spare pair of magic knickers whilst the Secret Service was high-tailing it out of there, and whilst Ann was cancelling campaign workers’ credit cards. Luckily, we have a copy of his, ahem, “victory” speech for our viewing pleasure.

Now, my fave part of this whole shock and awe that has hit the Romney campaign is the fact that the President Romney transition website went live for a short while yesterday. Nice to know that he was really planning on fucking over people by getting rid of the ACA, or by cutting it so much that you probably would lose your house if you got castrophically ill and your regular insurance wouldn’t cover your treatment. Yeah, he’s a real fucking patriot, and it’s so presidential to actually want to fuck over half the country.

(courtesy techpresident.com)

He paid $25k for it too.

(courtesy politicalwire.com)

I have some friends who voted for Romney and I am sorry for their loss. I do and don’t get why they voted for him, just like I’m sure they feel the same way about me and my vote. While Obama ain’t perfect, he’s the one who will keep this country moving onward by not fucking over women, minorities, and the poor with archaic policies that will be headed up by folks like Allen West (“Secy of Defense”) and John Bolton (Secy of State). Of course, those are satirical choices, maybe these are closer to the truth. But, the idea of Scott Walker makes me realize that maybe these possibilities are Onion-esque too.

Only time will tell. You can find me at the bar if you need me.