A few things captured my attention today thanks to my friends Stephanie and Erik. Originally, I posted these gems on my Facebook page, but since my privacy settings are tighter than a nun’s ass, I decided to post & provide McCrabass commentary. Oh joy!
Sure, these items are odd but the menstruation machine is the apex of odd. Stinkin’ weird. What type of mind thinks of this? It’s fascinating yet scary to think of what kind of upbringing the inventor and his helper had (the helper being an ob/gyn–makes me wonder what med school gave this Steinmetz a med degree). Who, in their right mind, thinks that having a period would be something worth experiencing? Why would anyone who doesn’t have the proper plumbing, want to go through the cramping, the bitchiness, the flow-from-hell, the bloating, the urge to pick up a semi-automatic and start picking off people randomly? What the shit is wrong with people? Maybe this guy should shove a couple of heavy-days tampon up his poop shoot for affect.
Stephanie Goldberg…you know me so well.
When I worked on “Fantasia 2000” back in the day, I met one of the bestest people ever: Erik Smith. We had so much fun on that film–watching the daily antics of the producers, the artists and other production folks–with bemused looks on our faces & sotto voce comments to one another. Erik ended up with the coolest job on that film: He was the Brizzi PA. What’s a Brizzi you ask? ‘Brizzi’ is the last name of twin brothers, Paul and Gaetan, who are amazing artists. They directed a “Fantasia” segment AND they were/are the nicest guys around. Working with them was a privilege too because they were really passionate about their work so it didn’t feel like work. It felt like animation/art school. Kind of a cool experience for a girl from the far Western ‘burbs of Chicago.
But, back to Erik. He’s a HOOT. And, since we’ve re-connected on Facebook, we’ve picked up where we left off in a cyber-kind-of-way by posting odd articles on each other’s pages quite frequently. Today was no exception. I was at work when this appeared in my newsfeed and I had to bite my lower lip to keep from doing a McCrabass imitation of that horrible, ear-splitting Julia Roberts cackle in the middle of a quiet newsroom. I know, your ears are bleeding just thinking of that horrible noise. *shudder* Sorry folks..we all gotta experience pain in life. If I have to go through it, so do you.
What I like the most about this invention, is the variety that’s offered from casual to oh-so-fancy–as if your pet is really gonna give a shit what mom jeans your fake lap is wearing when he/she flops his mange-y ass on it. However, once these make millions of dollars for the inventor, I’ll be slapping my noggin saying,”Why didn’t I think of that?? What a dumbass I am. First the Sham-Wow and now this?? I’m never gonna hit it big.”
Well, maybe I won’t hit it big. But at least I don’t want to blast this country to oblivion like this hayseed. Thanks a lot, Utah. You really DON’T get it, do you?