More musings on random shit

With this musical revelation, Jesus is gonna come back and beat the crap out of this woman to save the rest of humanity. Some talent should never, ever be allowed to leave Norway.

A fake dick will make its first appearance in space in October. When I heard this earlier today, my response was “Why didn’t I think of this??” I don’t know about y’all, but I feel much better knowing that a sex toy will be vibrating its way through space, maybe looking for moisture on Mars. But, I have two words for this cosmic cock: Black Hole.

I’m alll about organic, but this is too much. The idea of rodent turds mixin’ it up with my morning cuppa joe that’s been infused with a  jug of CoffeeMate French Vanilla creamer and a bucket of Splenda, really makes me just want to give up and start drinking vodka in the morning. If there were turds in vodka, at least the alcohol would kill the germs and kill the necessary brain cells that require one to feel disgust.

Question: Why do people shop at Jared the Galleria of Jewelry? What is wrong with people? Is it that fucking difficult to think for yourself? Or do you like conformity and ugly? This society is doomed, and a little of me dies whenever I see a tee vee ad for this place.

Can’t wait to read this page-long book. “I tried heroin, then woke up years later with a teenage daughter, a dead husband and a new body thanks to plastic surgery.”

Finally, this vid is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time.