Recently, Congress quietly lifted the 5-year ban on the funding of horse meat inspections, which means horse butchering could start up again in the states in the next month. While I find this completely reprehensible since I adore horses, I’m not surprised. The economy is in the shitter, and Congress is doing piddly-shit crap like this as a lame attempt to jump-start it without having to raise taxes on the disgustingly wealthy. What’s weird is the USDA doesn’t have the budget to do these inspections at the moment, but I’m sure they’ll figure something out eventually.
My feelings about this are contradictory: I find it appalling because of my personal history with horses, and I see the comic material as well. This got me thinking about the names of possible equine dishes at some of the fine and not-so-fine dining establishments in this country. Thanks to Laura Bong, Paul Sloth, Jeff Myers, Ajit Samudra and Jill Weiss for their contributions.
Here we go (with apologies to Lucky Lady, Buttsy, Filly, Thunder, Sesame Street, Desiree, Lady Bug, Charlie and all of the horses I have come in contact with in my lifetime.)
Coming soon to a menu near you!
Shetland Pony Pie
Connemara Cutlets with a lovely Belgian Bechamel sauce
Gelding Goulash with Paso Fino Paprika
Palomino Pancakes with Secretariat syrup
House-made Hoof Hash
Clydesdale Clambake
Man O’ War-wich
Trigger Tri-Tip
Mustang Masala
Lippizan Lasagna
Chincoteague Pony Cheesecake with a Goldolphin Ganache
Selle Francais Chopped Salad
Shire Sherbert
Alydar a la Mode
Welsh Pony Rarebit
Risotto del Ruffian
Burro Burritos
Zuppa del Zenyatta
and finally, Seabiscuit.
It’s safe to assume that I’ll be in horse hell where I’ll be stomped, bitten and shat on for eternity.
mccrabass 
My guess is that the American public has been eating horse meat for years and just doesn’t know it — it’s been quietly mixed into hamburgers, hot dogs, and other quick food horrors.
Why people view consumption of horses as anything less (or more) appalling than pigs, cows, or sheep is puzzling. Pigs are smarter, sheep are cuter, and cows have tits. Horses are big stupid dirty smelly dangerous beasts — eating they ass is a worthy method of extermination. I rest my case.
I never understood why rabbit never caught on. They’re plentiful and tasty and easy to raise. And they taste like horse, but tenderer. Mmmmm — bunneh!
There are no words.
As much as I love tri-tip steak, I’d sooner go vegan than dine on Trigger.
Here’s the real question of dealing with this- Who is going to teach us on the Food Network how to cook these various types of cuts from a horse?
i dunno. these all seem so high in fat…but man o’ war-wich? well, i think i’ll have to be making that one soon. think they sell ground horse in bulk at sam’s club?