I … I … don’t know what to say.
Severed Leg Washes Up Behind St. Petersburg Home
“Police were searching for the owner of a severed leg which washed ashore on a rental property on Thursday. The Tampa Bay Times reported that a Canadian Family called in the report around 7:40am when the leg washed up in front of their house.
The leg was perfectly cut at the thigh and the foot, and was perfectly shaven, according to investigators. “We don’t know the cause and manner of death,” said St. Petersburg police Major Mike Kovacsev ‘But obviously someone went to great lengths to dismember this body.’ “
I bet the person isn’t even dead, just a little uneven.
“The leg had no distinctive marks on it and no tattoos. The police were able to surmise that it had been in the water for a day or two before it was found. Because the leg was found shaven they are making an assumption that is belonged to a woman.
Investigators can use DNA to try to identify the victim, but investigators were quick to point out that will only work if that person’s DNA is already listed in a governmental database.”
Sounds like the po-po has a leg-up on this one. (yeah I said it)
“Officers on land and water were spread out along the shoreline Tuesday looking for more body parts and will keep searching in the coming days. Meanwhile, police are asking anyone who may have information about the leg or who it may belong to to contact them with any information that could help. There’s no shortage of ways for a leg to be dumped into Tampa Bay, which is home to numerous marinas and boat slips, countless backyard docks and also commercial shipping lanes.”
So, whilst you’re diddling your date on the beach or watching your pooch take a smelly dump in the sand then watching the kiddies build a sandcastle out of the shit-filled sand, be on the lookout for appendages that may be bobbin’ all willy nilly in the surf.
“What would you do if a leg washed up along your house?”
I’d shit my pants.