SWF Redux

It’s not even 9am here on the West Coast and I’m already creeped out by an ad I spied on Craigslist Chicago. Oh, and it takes a lot to creep me out, by the way.

$440 lake shore drive high rise single white male seeks female condomate (lake shore drive / east lakeview) (map)

Seems harmless enough you say? Continue reading, please. (No editing occurred to keep the creepiness of this posting intact.)

House of Horrors?

$440 lake shore drive high rise condo single white male seeks white collar / professional female condomate
lake shore drive high rise condo,balcony,stunning view of lake and harbor,24 hour doorman,exercise room,laundry room,directv,at&t u-verse high speed internet (wireless compatibility).single white male seeks white collar / professional or comparable occupation female condomate,apprx age range 20 / 40. $440 / month including utilities (electric,cooking gas,heat,air conditioning).completely and nicely furnished private bedroom.wall to wall draw draperies,wall to wall closets,twin size bed,dresser,thayer-coggin love seat sofa,modern stow-davis contoured sectional chair,modern koch+lowy dual vertical beam chrome floor lamp,z-shaped plexiglas accent tables,13″ tv set,room controlled central heat / air conditioning system.i’m non-smoking however you may smoke but only on the balcony,not in the apartment. If you want wired phone service in addition to your cell phone there is a phone in the bedroom so bring along an internet calling device such as nettalk or magic jack etc .indoor valet garage parking extra,no pets.this is the best roommate value on the internet,upscale accommodations and location at a budget price.available for immediate occupancy
contact bob for appointment .
phone 773 390 0298
additional photos at myspace.com/cutebob33
for e-mail inquries please click reply to this ad

Seems like a nice place, GREAT ‘hood, right? But there’s something else …. could it be the almost-obsessive description/name-dropping of the designer furniture that’s festooned about the condo? Is it the obsessive non-use of the space bar on his computer or Smartphone? Is it tastefully decorated so the new roomie has nice things to look at while she’s involved in a greased up, strung-out ass-to-ass fuck show a la “Requiem For A Dream”? Is the ‘thayer-coggin love seat sofa’ really the last thing she wants to see before she’s bundled up and hauled off to be a sex slave for a Saudi prince on his well-appointed yacht in the Med?

Damn…why oh why did I delete my MySpace page?

No, the major creep-factor is the pictures featured in the ad. Especially this one-

I’d better put the lotion in the basket or I’ll get the hose.

4 thoughts on “SWF Redux

Push it out, shove it out, waaaaay out...

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