Why didn’t I think of that?

From time to time, I’ll spy a product or two in my journeys that stops me cold in my tracks and causes me to shout out to no one in particular: “Why the heck didn’t I think of that?” Then, due to my undiagnosed ADHD, my mind will shift to something like a fluffy cat or a lampshade.

But, back to the products I didn’t invent. Why, for instance, didn’t I come up with the Shamwow? Probably because I would’ve fallen ass over teakettle in love with their cannibal hooker-loving spokesman, Vince Shlomi. Yes, that’s his name.

Back in the day when I was into both springboard and platform diving, I used a chamois to dry off between dives since towels got too cumbersome and soaked. If you watch any diving competition on the tee vee, you’ll see divers using them to dry off between dives and after they get out of the whirlpool. They work great. So, it didn’t surprise me years later when some genius decided that ‘shammies’ could be used as a regular household tool to clean up everything from chocolate milk spills to detox vomit spewed all over the guest bathroom. Of course, they had to think of a kicky name and find an even kickier spokesman. Welcome home, Vince Shlomi — the Shamwow was birthed.

The Shamwow works ok, but it’s made a fortune for its inventors. So I missed the Shamwow boat. Damn.

I love the Japanese. They’re all about cute and being efficient. One of my new fave products they invented. Need I mention Hello Kitty?

This one, well, it just makes perfect sense. Think about it. You’re a new mom with little time to clean and don’t have the cash to hire a housekeeper. So what do you do? Put your wee bairn to work and teach him or her the importance of hard work at an early age.

Score one more for the Japanese.

Finally, the topic of this post. I’m going to let the images do the talking here. There are no words at the moment to describe the awesomeness of this.

Wait…there’s more.

One more …

These hirsute undergarments are the pride and joy of Nutty Tarts — a Finnish company that believes all of the waxing, plucking and shaving can get boring, but not boring enough to go back to growing a pubic forest. So, what does one do? Don whichever piece of clothing will bring you the peace of your college days in Madison, Wisconsin when you didn’t believe in waxing, plucking or shaving. Or bathing for that matter. Ahem. Patchouli and sandalwood worked as a great B. O. mask for some of us, err, I mean them.

I’m tempted to buy some of these products because yes, they are that attractive. And, I don’t look enough like a doofus as it is.