Tone-on-Tone engaged

Newsflash: Two of the dullest people in the world are finally engaged.

(courtesy of

I know you’ve been losing sleep over the whole “Will they or won’t they?” time-suck. And now you have two folks you can send your congratulatory flaming bags of dog shit to.

Theroux liked it enough to put a ring on it, but only after Aniston cut the imaginary wedding ring she donned on after hearing Brad Pitt allude to her in an interview … or two … or never. One can hope. Perhaps America’s Sweetheart circa 1999 is hoping for Brad Pitt to bust-a-wedding a la “I thought the track star didn’t smoke” in “The Graduate.”

You remember Jennifer Aniston, correct?

She was one of the lottery winners who once sported one of the umbafugliest hair don’ts unleashed on a populace so into star fucking, that it has leeched into our collective DNA. Now you know why you see updated versions it every damn day. Thanks a lot, assholes.

It’s good that Hollywood is back on track in the relationship department after this fiasco. Finally, all is calm in the pot-smoke filled, dull-as-a-doorstop dome — until Angelina decides she wants to taste Justin.



7 thoughts on “Tone-on-Tone engaged

  1. I can tell that I am finally addicted from my Hollywoood tabloid/gossip addiction, because this is all news to me. I have no clue who he is. And I don’t care. And when the baby bump story breaks (for the 2000th time) I won’t care about that either. Aniston’s love life is not, like the media thinks, something we’re all losing sleep over.

    But I like your post which is exactly that point…nobody cares. So it makes me laugh. 🙂

  2. I sure hope these two crazy kids make it. NOT. Seriously, does anyone really think this engagement will last? I suspect he thinks it will raise his Q rating just enough for him to become famous enough to snag a younger, hotter piece of tail. And she’s just a hot mess, ‘nuf said.

    Also, he left his GF for Jennifer Aniston. So of course you KNOW that bodes well for their future.

  3. LA woman directed me to your rant. Loved the critique on Jen’s hair-don’t. Have hated it and all it’s variations for over a decade.

    • Thanks Mike! You know, I only saw one person that lid looked good on and that was on a gay man. ’nuff said.
      Feel free to peruse my other posts. I think you may like them too.

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