Major League Pantomime

I was alerted about this vidya earlier today by one of my sisters, and it still makes me cackle like a scary old broad who’s watching her mangy, rabid dog chase the neighborhood chirrun out of her damn yard.

This happened at a recent Chicago Cubs/Pittsburgh Pirates night game at Wrigley Field.

One caveat here — I am not a baseball fan. It’s not something I follow, but I will go to a game from time to time if the ticket is free and I’m plied with enough alcohol. Kidding about the alcohol part. Ok, ok …I’ll go if there’s an unlimited supply of ballpark hotdogs and Coolie Coos (or whatever they’re called) waiting for me at the park.

I do know this much about baseball: The Cubs blow donk and Wrigley Field is the world’s largest beer garden–but probably with more piss and puke strewn about, and guys with up-turned collars on their polo shirts and backwards baseball caps. Ew.

Plus, I used to live near Wrigley, and I grew weary of Cub fans from Schaumburg sullying my neighborhood with their shitty beer vomit and Schaumburgian ways. And the post-game puke on my car always killed my sunny disposition, and that memory is still knocking around the obsidian-like part of my soul.

However, this performance may restore my faith in America’s Game or whatever it’s called.


22 thoughts on “Major League Pantomime

  1. The irony here: this fan gets tossed from the stands for making obscene gestures, while the Cubs’ players make millions for their obscene play all season out there on the field. At .387, they own the second-worst record in the NL. Sir Classy was right: they blow.

  2. why why why would he do this? Regardless.. very funny indeed. My coffee did not need to come out of my nose this morning
    thankyou (smile)

  3. Hey, I used to live MUCH closer to Schaumburg than you did, and had to drive through there (on 53/355) for ten years! Trust me – if I had the money, I’d bribe the Russkies to retarget and “accidentally” launch a nuke, right on top of Woodfield!
    So where in Wrigleyville did you live? I had friends who lived on the 2nd floor of the 3-story jobs – (Roscoe, I want to say, but I think that’s wrong.) About four blocks from the main entrance, SW if memory serves. Yeah, the small patch of grass out in front was usually dead during baseball season. A couple of times, they actually found somebody passed out!

    • i lived a titch south of Wrigley–on Oakdale/B-way, but we got the post-game shenanigans all the time. I did find vomit on my car on a number of occasions.
      I grew up in the way western burbs and Woodfield was a sort of mecca for us.

      • Might I ask which suburb, if that’s not too nosey? We lived in Niles (Golf Rd and Milwaukee) until I went into fifth grade, then moved to Addison/Wood Dale until the wife and I bailed for scenic SE Ohio (cough). And now that we’ve talked about Chicago on and off, I an mow rip-roaringly homesick. 😦 (Not your fault, I only get melancholy for Chicago once every few days – or hours – or minutes….;) )

      • Yee gods, go WAY west, young man! I used to ride the Milwaukee Road West line that ended in Elgin (Big Timber, actually)., and my dad and I canoed the Fox River many times. Did you ever catch a World War 2 re-enactment or parade out that way? I marched both in a German and British WW2 unit in several towns out that way, including (the Brit unit’s home base) Aurora.

  4. I’m surprised he’s not a Red Sox fan. Because they’re classy like that.

    I wonder what made him decide to work that particular move on camera. I have to admit, I’m not all that impressed with his technique.

Push it out, shove it out, waaaaay out...

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