It’s not a tumah …

For the most part, I believe that plastic surgery and all sub-categories of it are a good thing. It helps people with jack shit for self-esteem feel better about themselves by correcting hook noses, weak chin issues, sagging earlobes and boobage, and facial lines as deep as the Grand Canyon. Of course, plastica is used for good, like when someone was maimed or scarred in some horrible manner. But this is not the case here.

Sometimes I wonder which image I would prefer staring at: A plate of rotting meat mixed with maggots, feathers, rotting eggs, or someone sitting across from me with a sutured visage complete with pus and yuck oozing out of it.

Hmm .. I’ll take the meat please

Of course, plastic surgery is rife with those who abuse it.




(courtesy of

I could write a book called Dull Knife: Profiles in Bad Plastic Surgery, but nah. Not into it. Anyway, you get the idea.

Now, we’ve got a bunch of nimrods who are into shooting buckets of saline into their foreheads, then pressing a thumb in the middle of the bulbous splotch to add a little more drama. No, not to eliminate lines, but to look as if they have a bagel IN THEIR FOREHEAD. I mean, when I first saw this new look, all I could think of was Rocky Whathisname from “Mask.” Or Joseph/John Merrick.

Now, if I were to do this, I’d add a big eye to the ‘hole’ and cover up my real eyes, then  act like a cyclops. It would give me something to do.

Someone please essplain to me why this is necessary because I’m at a loss.

9 thoughts on “It’s not a tumah …

  1. We don’t have to wait for aliens to land on our planet. They’re already here. Mickey Rourke is just pathetic. And, giraffe girl – well, she really has body dysmorphia or something. You could park a Buick in her chin and a trailer in her lips. Ghastly.

  2. When I think of the many terrific things that have come out of Japan — sushi, sashimi, sake, great electronics, Akira Kurosawa and (what the hell) Tatzu Nishi, I will leave bagelheading off the list. Body modification is so not my thing. I’m with Weebles on this one — fucking insane.

  3. Hmm. So you wanna be a cyclops, eh? Do I detect a fellow fan of Turanga Leela? 😉
    Sorry, I don’t get it at all. I don’t even go for Botox. Katy Kay, a BBC correspondent, got a shot of Botox that made her look like somebody had rammed an icicle up her butt. Thankfully, somebody must’ve told her something similar, because she let it fade and went back to her previous VERY good looks.
    Besides, I went through too much work to look like your species. I don’t want to have to go through MORE work like that…..:D

  4. I saw that episode. I DO NOT GET IT. Bagel heads. Who does this??? I do like your idea of adding the eye to the hole in the forehead, though—that at least makes some sense. But this saline bagel thing is just fucking insane.

Push it out, shove it out, waaaaay out...

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