So I signed up with Plinky to help me with this NaBloPoMo thingy.
Supposedly or Supposebly (choose whichever version best displays your edumacational achievements) the daily inspirations on Plinky are supposed to help me with this daily writing task.
Not bloody likely.
So far, the ‘inspirations’ I’ve spied involve describing a time when you felt your loneliest, if you could invent a holiday what would it be, and something about kittens. Sure, some of the responses are heartfelt and heartbreaking but I’d rather not air mah dirty laundry that way.
Whilst in my pre-caffeine part of the morning, I came across this suggestion:
Have you ever had to end a friendship?
Plinky’s prescience is impressive. Recently, I went through a mutual dumping of sorts. I said something horrible, immediately apologized (actually three times which in hindsight is two times too many), yet this former friend decided to take my bad behavior one step further and tell the targets of my insult what I had said.
Over the next few tear-filled, angst-and guilt-ridden days, the realization hit me like a box of human shit that this friend of over 20 years was never a friend because she didn’t have to take my horrible insult to the next level. A phonecall coulda and shoulda been made asking me what was up & had that happened, then the chaos train would’ve stopped. See how that works?
Live and learn, plus it’s time to have my friendship radar adjusted. Fuck it–I’ll just get a new one.
Of course I regret my behavior and miss my former friend from time to time, and what happened has brought me pain, plus a healthy dose of introspection.
I take responsibility for my actions, and am done apologizing.
However, anger surfaces from time to time, which ain’t pretty because what I could say to them would melt the skin off their faces and cause their tits to tumble off their chesticles. It’s very tempting, but why would I want to waste such a wonderful combo platter of wit, wisdom and high-brow insults on folks who have proven themselves to be tone-on-tone half-wits and what’s the term? Frenemies? Yes, I’m using a term so associated with the early aughts, but it works well in this case.
When I was going through this, a good friend told me that this woman–plus the two I offended who I believed to be my friends–don’t deserve the tears I’m shedding.
He’s absolutely correct, and now there is peace in the dome.
Onward and upward.