This is the story of the year. I’m surprised y’all can’t hear me cackling because it.. it…is just so damn funny and RANDOM.
Monkey found roaming Toronto Ikea
Not that unusual, I know, especially in this day and age. Perhaps the Gawker hed is more telling:
Shearling Coat-Wearing Monkey Found Wandering Around Canadian Ikea
Turns out the monkeh was left in the car whilst his owners went into the Toronto Ikea to buy cheap-ass furniture and probably dine on Swedish meatballs for a dollar. I’m thinkin’ the critter got bored, and since monkeys are fuckloads smarter than most humans, he opened the car door whilst muttering obscenities under his monkeh breath, climbed out of the car and into the cold parking lot while pulling his coat tighter around him and hiking up his Huggehs for Monkehs to avoid drippage. He then followed the rest of the huddled masses into the country that is Ikea.
Fortunately for security cameras and folks with smartphones, his journey was caught for us to enjoy as well. The monkeh is fine, according to officials.
I have a feeling that the monkeh had an easier time of figuring out how to put Ikea furniture together than his owners did.