(WARNING: NSFW)
There’s a new movement afoot to get women to love their labias.
Why? Huh?
Because we women are supposed to feel like shit about our physical selves–even when we don’t–so some twink somewhere (probably a plastic surgeon) makes up a new neuroses for us gals to glom onto. Of course we do this since we women are also major people pleasers AND this society is allllll about promoting beauty over brains and brawn. What happens next? Our self-esteem takes a major hit, and we’re looking for the next beauty miracle to make us perfect instead of, oh I don’t know, maybe reading a good book that will make us a scosch smarter/wiser. Help us, Judy Blume!
Now, I was taken aback by this new love thyself no matter what proclamation because I had no idea that some women hate their labias.
Wait..clarification desperately needed here–90% of men don’t know what the LABIA is (no, it’s not the latest Italian sportscar, although most men ride it like it was –HEY O!), so I will do the honors of explaining to the menfolk just what AND where the labia is.
From FreeDictionary.com:
labia
Apparently, the hot trend these days–labiaplasty–is for women whose twats have had quite the workout birthing humans, riding horses, doing the splits during their Nadia Comaneci phase, and well, just by being a modern woman. That shit gets stretched out, see, and some women are uber-self conscious about their labias looking like elephant ears.
Huh?
Really?
This is where we get into trouble.
Ok, let’s walk through this one, mmkay? So, some woman, who has done her fair share of living (see above graf), suddenly feels like CRAP because she’s seen what the porn goddesses have and decide that them gals are the new high standard in pussy perfection.
(Side note: I’m sure most of this myth is perpetrated by men who never leave their parents’ basements.)
Yes, even though the only folks who will actually feast their peepers on her vajay, are her doc (hey, she/he has seen ’em all & they don’t care), her significant other, her lover, her mistress, and perhaps her waxologist–but she’s still quite self-conscious. Let’s be honest–any dude who is THAT LUCKY to get close to a labia–would be wise to shut his yap-yap about what it looks like or he’ll find that he is no longer welcome in that fleshy, magical, wonderful kingdom.
Apparently, and thanks to the world of social media, there are blogs, blogs and tumblrs & more tumblersand whatnot dedicated to celebrating the labia–no matter the size. Bravo to those broads who are all about putting puss pix out there for all the world to see. <golf clap>
This is what has me flummoxed: Women do the crux of the living and breathing in this society, and our bodies are the physical evidence. We’re the ones who keep this world from sliding deeper into the shitter. However, even though we are the ones made of sterner stuff, we’re still made to feel like shit if we don’t look absolutely fucking perfect all the live-long day.
To that nonsense I say “What the entire fuck??!”
In short, there is nothing wrong with you–you’re perfect.
Jules, are you familiar with anal bleaching?
Yes I am.
is your anus bleached?
Um… Not that I know of. Why?
By the way, that diagram must be a Mercator projection. Either that or she has the largest vagina, or the smallest anus ever.
Fucking insane. Any woman who wants one of these should have a psychiatric evaluation first.
And have her woman card revoked.
I had a veterinarian suggest that my dog needs vaginal reconstruction surgery. Seriously. I have since sworn off returning to that vet.
I appreciate posts which pictorially show the difference between a vagina and an anus. Thank you. You are doing a service to all humanity.
Shout it from the rooftops!
A woman I was seeing for quite a while upside down, would yammer about getting a labiaplasty every so often. I think she said that just to irritate me, for it makes no sense why anyone would tamper with perfection. Thanks for the diagram, but I can assure you that this lesbian knows exactly what goes where when having had years of practice on myself.
http://www.instantrimshot.com
I always say the dude is lucky I let him stick it in in the first place.
What the feck is right!!!
There’s big money to be made in convincing half the population that they are below standard and need to be fixed to be acceptable. Great post!
I was reading about women getting “the Barbie” which entirely eliminates the inner labia. That nonsense is right up there with bleached assholes, if you ask me.
I was going to bring up about bleached assholes….
Great post!