Five Things-Seen Some Strange Shit Edition: 4/24/14

I have seen some strange shit during my time here on Earth. Yes, I’m well aware that others have seen/witnessed/experienced some either stranger shit too, but I’m not talking about them.

Now, when I was a teen, I did stupid shit too…cow tipping, stealing road signs, drinking bad beer and hanging out in Jack Conner’s basement whilst listening to “Dark Side of the Moon,” and sneaking into Chicago at the tender age of 14 to see the Clash when I was *really* at a sleep-over at a friend’s house. Ahem.

Some of our actions were dumb (many aren’t named here to protect the innocent/me), but we never did this crap.

Talk about some ill shit…

1) Could be time to ban Burt’s Bees.

Teens get new BUZZ from beeswax lip balm

(via WKRC/Gawker)

“WKRC in Cincinnati reports that kids like the tingling sensation they get from using beeswax lipbalm not as prescribed, because it enhances the experience of being drunk or high.

“It’s the peppermint oil that’s causing the burning sensation and I suppose some people think that is kind of funny,” Dr. Brett Cauthen of Oklahoma City’s Today Clinic speculated to WKRC. 

Beezin’ isn’t all burning sensations and giggles, though. Cauthen warns it could lead to inflammation in the eye, redness of the eye, or swelling.

But is this mildly irritating trend for real? The evidence to consider includes an Urban Dictionary entry posted in 2010 (tracing it back to Colby College), a 2013 music video by a New Jersey “comedian musician” who writes “parodies,” and a few YouTube videos of kids trying beezin’ for themselves.”

It’s probably a hoax, but let’s ban the shit out of Burt’s Bees anyway. Why? Just cuz.

2) I’ve semi-enjoyed illegal substances from time to time, and I’ve witnessed plenty of folks doing all sorts of illegal ill shit, but takes the fucking cake.


Vermont library locking public restrooms because needles are clogging the drains

Burlington’s Fletcher Free Library has also had issues with other kinds of drug paraphernalia.
(via UPI)
(via UPI)

(via UPI)

A Vermont library is locking the doors on its public restrooms — and it’s not because people are bringing in books to read on the toilet.

Burlington’s Fletcher Free Library is putting its restrooms on lockdown after having problems with hypodermic needles and other drug paraphernalia clogging the drains.

Once locksmiths complete the transition, patrons will have to trade their library card or ID for a bathroom key.

“We’re hoping to have this done by the end of the week, as soon as the locksmith can do the work,” head librarian Rubi Simon told the Burlington Free Press.

Despite the nature of the items that have been causing the clogging, Simon said there was no evidence that drugs were being used in the bathrooms or anywhere else in the library.

“Fortunately, we caught it early enough so there was no damage to the bathrooms,” Simon said.

After reading about needles in drains, I prefer this scenario instead.


3) This dingus lost all credibility after claiming he’s a ‘sovereign citizen’ and ‘doesn’t recognize the U.S. government’ after he was pictured waving an American flag. Oh, then there’s the whole ‘I’m not paying grazing fees because fuck you.’
You, Cliven Bundy, are an idiot AND a criminal for not paying your grazing fees. The gov’t ain’t being ‘tyrannical,’ you are. He’s going after everyone now…calling those who live in subsidized housing ‘freeloaders’ even though he and his cattle have been doing it for years.

You’re not a patriot, Mr. Bundy. You’re an asshole.

At first, conservatives were actually siding with this guy. Conservatives who represent us. They agreed with him, until it their minions figured out that agreeing with a domestic terrorist might hurt their chances at snagging the White House in 2016.

“Here’s a comment from Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), who has also been supportive of Bundy’s cause: “His remarks on race are offensive and I wholeheartedly disagree with him.”  (via WaPo)

Uh huh…riiiight, Mr. Paul. You know, if it walks like a duck ….



Mother gives birth to 14.5-pound baby at Massachusetts General Hospital

Carisa Ruscak was the biggest baby to be born at Massachusetts General Hospital in more than a decade.
I don’t know what else to say. 
5) Just because it’s gross, doesn’t mean it’s news. (via LA Times)

Ikea will soon serve vegetarian and chicken versions of its Swedish meatballs

Question: Do people actually go to IKEA for the food?? Really? Why? There are so many fine restaurants surrounding all IKEAs so why eat there? I’d like to hear from those who go to IKEA to eat. Please. I do wanna know, and I’ll try my hardest not to mock you.



3 thoughts on “Five Things-Seen Some Strange Shit Edition: 4/24/14

  1. For me it was the seventy or so mile sneak to Atlanta to see the Allman Brothers Band. Get how smart smoking weed for seventy miles can make you . . . we looped Atlanta on I 285 around and around equal to about three or more round trips home the first covert teenage road trip. You just cannot fix the directionally impaired with weed. Plus we never had any experience driving in a city populated by several million esp. coming from a small town with less than thirty thousand people and that included the county as well. Talk about lucky yes we were so very lucky . . . mostly that my Mother never found out about our escapades. Atlanta sure it was scary and lots of potential for many God awful scenarios but my Mother finding out that was a sure thing our death. Oh yes the woman would have terminated us guaranteed slowly, tortured to death oh so painfully too. Hey wait a minute I know I came with a point before all the ATL circling and recounting drove it oh my. Psych! You take issue with kids today using lip balm to enhance their drunk or high by “beezin’”. Granted that falls right in there with sniffing white out or licking a toad’s butt to get high. The one that takes the cake for me is the new thing of soaking tampons in 100 proof vodka and then inserting that goes straight into the blood stream producing an immediate and intense high, without that pesky tale tail give away liquor breath. Sorry but the pun was intended. This is just wrong on so many levels one being who thought this one up the guy from Lollapalooaza that could swing the cinder block with his dick? I will just bet it was his sister that gene pool has already proved itself plenty shallow enough for another stellar idea like 100 proof tampons. What are they going to call it ‘tampooning’? (Rhymes with harpooning)

  2. Oh, that Clash incident is a pretty good brag. You can win contests with that one, I’ll bet.

    I don’t go to Ikea for the food but if I’m buying some shelves and you stick a plate of meatballs in front of me, I’m gonna eat ’em.

  3. We used to go up to IKEA on a semi-regular basis. And back about ten years ago we would eat at the cafe and they did have some really decent food. They had a vegetarian NON-tomato based lasagna that was delicious and the yellow pea soup was outstanding, too. They had delicious cakes and pastries, marvelous rice pudding and the kids’ favorite was blue jello. It was really good edible food at a reasonable price.

    But now all that has changed, the food is cheap nasty, mostly bread crumb CRAP, portions are incredibly tiny and it all looks like a bad school lunch line.

Push it out, shove it out, waaaaay out...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s