A Little of This, A Little of That…

Major rant coming on, then the news!

First, a word about blogging, blogs and their readers. While I love reading the blogs I subscribe to (they’re all so good in their own ways), I hate the arrogance that some folks on WP have with regards to allowing people to ‘like’ a post and subscribe to a blog. Some WP bloggers have disabled both options for reasons that I don’t quite understand, but I’m slowly beginning to see that it’s ego run amok. The author is forcing you to comment on a post you like instead of pressing the ‘like’ button–which to me–is classic passive-aggressive behavior. This is becoming more popular for some reason, and I’ve noticed that at least half of the blogs I subscribe to are starting to do this. It’s such a pain in the ass that I’m going to stop reading the blogs that I can’t participate with in the way I desire.

Why wouldn’t the author of a blog want readers to like a post they’ve worked tirelessly on? Why have the only option for subscribing to a blog via email? See, that shit drives me nuts. I don’t like clogging up my email with alerts from WP–even though I only do that for a select few. I like having all of my subscriptions in one place–in my WP Reader. Maybe this is done by some WordPressers because their worlds don’t exist much outside of WordPress and this is their way of controlling things. I don’t know. All I know is it’s so gauche, and I’m growing weary of it.

<<<END RANT>>>

It’s been some time since I’ve done a news round-up. Why? Well, the news has been a major doggie-downer as of late so the thought of writing about it was causing me to feel like I was going through heroin withdrawal. I’m not a huge fan of vomiting, writhing on the floor and soiling my knickers uncontrollably. If that’s your thing, then hey, knock yerself out.

But, I’m holding off on having those things happen to me until I’m at least 90 years old.

On to the news.

Have a piece of schadenfreude pie, Joe Francis.

Apparently, Mr. “Girls Gone Wild” and all-around douchebag, has his knickers in a bunch because someone stole his iPad that contained a sex tape that he made with his gal pal! Francis is quite steamed about it because the thief is currently shopping said sex tape around to the highest bidder. Waah waah waah!

Joe Francis and his co-star. (photo courtesy of LAist.com)

Joe Francis and his co-star. (photo courtesy of LAist.com)

Francis is the emotionally retarded chap who made underage titty flashing the new thing to aspire to for so many girls who consider “cracker” to be a term of endearment and who frequent spring break getaways like South Padre Island, Ft. Liquordale, and the like. Oh, and he’s been in trouble with the law–he doesn’t like to pay taxes, can’t comprehend the meaning of ‘consent’ and doesn’t quite seem to glean what ‘underage’ means exactly–just to name a few. Oh for fun, get on the google machine and type in ‘Steve Wynn vs. Joe Francis’ and you’ll read some of the best unintentional comic material ever.

 

Question: What comes with an $800 sex toy?

Also, I hate it when this happens. See folks, this is why I keep my sex toys in a locked box in my panic room.

Bravo to Spain for taking a stand on dog poop scofflaws. You know, in Chicago, I think we should have the option of smearing the dog feces on the owners OR smearing them on a Cubs/Sox/Hawks/Bears/Bulls jersey in front of the owner. It all depends on which team the owner supports, and the messier the poop, the better. That’ll never happen since our sleazoid of a mayor is too busy engaging in a circle jerk with no-bid city contractors and parking meters companies.

This made me smile. China Eastern Airlines is getting all of their flight attendants trained in the ancient Chinese secret art of Kung Fu, as a way to protect themselves against hijackers. Tis a noble effort and I had no idea CEA was a target for hijackers. I do hope they’ll channel the surprisingly un-Chinese looking Kwai Chang Caine whilst unloading a high-kick to a hijacker’s noggin.

(courtesy retroland.com)

(courtesy retroland.com)

However, I have a sinking feeling it’ll be more like this:

As for the ear worm, you’re welcome.

 

Someone had a bad day …

I … I … don’t know what to say.

From The Inquistr.

Severed Leg Washes Up Behind St. Petersburg Home

“Police were searching for the owner of a severed leg which washed ashore on a rental property on Thursday.  The Tampa Bay Times reported that a Canadian Family called in the report around 7:40am when the leg washed up in front of their house.

The leg was perfectly cut at the thigh and the foot, and was perfectly shaven, according to investigators.  “We don’t know the cause and manner of death,” said St. Petersburg police Major Mike Kovacsev ‘But obviously someone went to great lengths to dismember this body.’ “

I bet the person isn’t even dead, just a little uneven.

“The leg had no distinctive marks on it and no tattoos.  The police were able to surmise that it had been in the water for a day or two before it was found.  Because the leg was found shaven they are making an assumption that is belonged to a woman.

Investigators can use DNA to try to identify the victim, but investigators were quick to point out that will only work if that person’s DNA is already listed in a governmental database.”

Sounds like the po-po has a leg-up on this one. (yeah I said it)

“Officers on land and water were spread out along the shoreline Tuesday looking  for more body parts and will keep searching in the coming days. Meanwhile, police are asking anyone who may have information about the leg or who it may belong to to contact them with any information that could help. There’s no shortage of ways for a leg to be dumped into Tampa Bay, which is home to numerous marinas and boat slips, countless backyard docks and also commercial shipping lanes.”

So, whilst you’re diddling your date on the beach or watching your pooch take a smelly dump in the sand then watching the kiddies build a sandcastle out of the shit-filled sand, be on the lookout for appendages that may be bobbin’ all willy nilly in the surf.

“What would you do if a leg washed up along your house?”

I’d shit my pants.

Illinois: Land of Bad Behavior

La Rod

It looks like Gov. Hairdon’t will be going away until the end of time.

Good riddance, but I must say I’m not surprised. Illinois has a colorful history of breeding corrupt pols, not just in Chicago, but throughout the entire state. It’s part of our charm–in a cartoon-abstract sorta way.  It would be quite easy to go on and on about the crimes perpetrated by some of our elected officials, but it’s more fun to poke fun at Blago since he’s the most recent one to fall down and go boom in the international spotlight, and he has the best/worst hair EVER! With regards to the political shenanigans that go on in this state, I’ll say this: It’s boring. Screwing your constituents and fellow pols over for political power, and getting the occasional blow job from your aide is tiresome (not implying that Blago got blown of course, but it has been known to happen with other pols-DUH). Again, I could go on and on, but getting my knickers in a twist about this just ain’t worth it. I mean, what’s the point since corruption is de riguer in politics?

I’m really gonna miss Blago “jogging” through my neighborhood once he goes to the pokey.

The hair doesn't move.

However, this story could have long legs too…

This tale caught my eye, and I’m still giggling over it. For those of you who are too damn lazy to click on the link provided, here’s a snippet–

From the Chicago Sun-Times via TPM:

“The Town President of Cicero, Illinois is being sued for allegedly sexually harassing the woman who ran the town’s “Waggin’ Tails” animal shelter, after instructing her to lie under oath about the nature of their relationship.

Ok, that sounds about par for the course for Illinois politics. Yawn.

But wait! There’s more!

“According to the Chicago Sun-Times, in early 2009, Sharon Starzyk wore an FBI recording device during several of her encounters with Larry Dominick. They were discussing Starzyk’s testimony related to another town employee’s sexual harassment suit against Dominick.”

Now, I’m curious. Who is this Larry Dominick?  He’s the Cicero Town President, a job that has a wonderful history of corruption.  Of course, that kind of power breeds bad behavior in all forms. It’s reprehensible.

More questions…  What’s the deal? Maybe this lawsuit is a result of a love affair gone bad? Perhaps someone wants money so they cooked up a sordid tale of unwanted invitations to hit the river boat casinos, or maybe the Jim Stafford Dinner Theater in Branson, then play hide the sausage? Hmm…  What’s he look like? Is he a charmer? Maybe there’s something about him?

So, I did more digging and found a few photos of the alleged-harasser.

Wait. For. It.

Dominick, left, with Daley and Sandoval

Yep, this guy. I would think that the best way to lure him away from the idea of diddling you and wanting to touch your delicates, would be to dangle a plate of ribs in front of him, or a trough of chocolate milkshake. Sigh.

And yes, I’m well-aware that sexual harassment is about power. So, save your breath about schooling me on what sexual harassment is. I know what it is–I’m just commenting on the accused.

It gets better.

“Starzyk alleged in court papers Dominick repeatedly groped her or touched her inappropriately and sent her text messages in which he suggested she should perform oral sex on a black man — using a racial slur — or engage in a threesome with two of Dominick’s friends — an unlicensed plumber in his late 50s, and the Cicero town collector, Fran Reitz. Starzyk said she showed the messages to people but no longer has them.

Really?

Of course, Dominick is saying the relationship was consensual,  “and that at the time he would go to her house and “play with her dog and eat there and once in a while whatever came up sexually.”

Shudder. I don’t want to know what that really means.