Five Things: September 19, 2013

I thought I’d put my Feedly reader to good use and point out some of the more outrageous/interesting/heinous/gnarly/silly, etc. stories cruising around out there.

1) Apparently, Stand Your Ground REALLY only applies to white folks when they shoot black and brown folks, not the other way around. How dare you think that the law is applied evenly and fairly? You think it is? Then, it’s time to take off your fucking rose-colored specs because they’re blinders smeared with shit. Seriously. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

H/t to politicalblindspot.com

ANOTHER Jailed African American In Florida Is Told ‘Stand Your Ground’ Doesn’t Apply To Him

Screen shot 2013-09-19 at 3.28.59 PM

Michael Giles (courtesy of PoliticalBlindspot.com)

Funny thing about laws, they gotta apply to everyone. Oh wait, this is Florida so there’s the rub. While I am not a fan of online petitions, this one might be worth signing.

2) It’s deja-vu–1991 style–all over again.

Why?

Gennifer Flowers is back in the news. She’s now yammering about how that if it weren’t for Chelsea, she and Bill would be all married up n’ shit by now. Oh, and Hillary’s a bi-seck-shul, by the way according to Gennifer via Bill. AND, Hill’s eaten more pussy than Bill. Just sit with that one for a minute. Let it absorb in your being and ooze in and out of your  ….

I know what you’re trying to do now–you’re trying to get that image of Hillary muff diving out of your mental Rolodex. You know what? IT CANNOT BE DONE. I’m sure some of my Sapphic Sisters can relate though.

(courtesy of monstersandcritics.com)

(courtesy of monstersandcritics.com)

You get what’s going on here, yes? Well, Hillary will probably run for POTUS in 2016, so the Right Wing is starting early with the rumor mill. HOWEVER, what they probably don’t realize is that by saying that Hillary swings both ways, she’s collected all of the gay money and has shored up the gay vote. Gays have lots of cash and lots to say, and unfortunately for our brothers and sisters on the right, lots and lots of influence. Nice try, RWNJ, better put a call into Monica to see what she’s been up to lately, you know, as a ‘just in case.’ If Monica is busy, there’s always her.

3) Good luck, Felony. You’re gonna need it.

(via imgur.com)

(via imgur.com)

4) Bring up your dead. I know you saw what I did there.

This case is still very much alive in Boulder these days.

Here’s what I’m talking about. Apparently, some folks just can’t let dead baby beauty queens stay dead. This was a horrible case–not just the actual crime, but how it was handled and screwed up by the Boulder Police Department and the Boulder DA.

(via KTLA)

(via KTLA)

But, what’s extremely important here is the indictment against the Ramseys was never made available to the public. It was presented to a grand jury, they voted to prosecute the Ramseys for the murder of their daughter, JonBenet, but the prosecutor never signed it. Why? This is what Charlie Brennan, a reporter for the Daily Camera and the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press would like to know. Simply put, in a so-called free society, there has to be transparency. As journalists, this is our main job–to be watchdogs for and of society. We uncover the corruption, the crap–the bad behavior if you will–that so many of our esteemed elected officials would rather you not know about. I know I’ll be following this story because I don’t think it’s over yet. Stay tuned.

5) Finally, a song for today. Tis a grand one too. Enjoy.

A Sad Day for Comedy

Comedians and political pundits from sea to shining sea of this great nation are weeping, filing away their glitter jokes and putting their show tunes libraries in hidden folders in iTunes because Michele Bachmann is not running for re-election.

What? You don’t believe me? Well, have a look-see, pals.

I’m sad the Tea Party Temptress will no longer be around. I won’t miss her politics, but I will miss the endless supply of comedy gold she supplies to people like me. Ted Cruz, Tom Coburn, James Inhofe, Rick Perry and Rand Paul just don’t ooze unintentional comic material the way that Bachmann does.

Corndog1-384x288

Now, I need to add a wrinkle. I won’t miss Michele as much as I will miss her Marcus–her beloved pray-the-gay-away psychologist husband/stylist/constant companion and hopefully, First Husband (sigh–someday–somewhere over the rainbow).

marcusandhiscorndoggiejjfjfjf

SQUEE!

Who knows what the future holds for Michele–ahem–but I must admit that I’m looking forward to her plethora of fab pantsuits on the campaign trail in a couple of years. I look forward to hearing her screech about Vince Foster and Whitewater as a lame attempt to bring Hillary down to her level. That’ll be fun. I just hope I’m covering that campaign.

As for Marcus? Well, there’s this image.

You’re welcome.

(ps: I’ll be the broad pushing the drink cart.)

Election Season Follies Part One: Shitstorm in Chicago

There are roughly six months until the presidential election and we’re already witnessing some of the most disgusting, fucked-up, asshole behavior by some of our fellow Americans.

Joe Ricketts (photo from USA Today)

Earlier in the week we heard about the this race-baiting bomb of crap ad campaign that was perpetrated by the patriarch of the family who owns the Chicago Cubs. The Super PAC that Papa Ricketts is funding failed to take into account that the Ricketts fam is desperately trying to get Illinois tax payers to foot the bill for the multi-million dollar Wrigley Field rehab.

Oops.

There’s one thing you don’t do if you want to survive: You don’t fuck with Chicagoans.

We have long memories and rugged attitudes when it comes to folks who try to shit on the city, its denizens and especially its beloved Cubbies. Oh, and we don’t take kindly to anyone — especially well-known, high-profile Chicago businessmen — who diss the President of the United States who, um, also hails from Chicago. (NOTE: I’m not a baseball fan at all, but out of respect for my friends, I’ll hold off on my opinions about the sport & the Cubs.) The team is actually owned and run by two of  Joe Ricketts’s children — daughter Laura who’s active in the LGBT community and is a bundler for the Obama campaign; and her brother Tom, who’s the CEO of  Chicago/Boca Raton, FLA. investment bank, Incapital LLC and is a director of TD Ameritrade Holding Corporation (father Joe founded the company). In 2006, the other brother, Peter Ricketts ran for US Senate in Nebraska against incumbent Democrat Ben Nelson on the anti-gay marriage, anti-LGBT and anti-abortion train. Mr. Ricketts was soundly defeated.

UPDATE: 4:25 PM, PT. I forgot about Todd Ricketts. Here’s his bio, thanks to Deadspin.com:

“Todd Ricketts, the cool one: Todd’s 42, the baby of the family. He’s on the board of the Cubs. He lives in Chicago. He jokingly called himself “the rebellious one” because he didn’t attend University of Chicago for undergrad—he went to Loyola University—and he dropped out of U of C’s Booth business school before he finished his MBA. But as far as Ricketts siblings go, he’s got cultural cred. He did an episode of Undercover Boss. He owns some bike shops and picks his kids up from school on a bike. He’s on the Ameritrade board, but he’s only on one committee. He gave a little money to three Republicans—Mitt Romney and Illinois Reps. Bobby Schilling and Adam Kinzinger—but he hasn’t run for office.”

I watched as Mayor Rahm Emanuel did his best to control himself as he spoke to the media about the Ricketts’s-backed plan:

“I don’t think that’s fitting in a campaign of any nature,” Emanuel said. “You can have disagreements without being disagreeable.”

“America is too great a country with too great a future with the content they are talking about,” added the mayor. “And it’s insulting to the president, it’s insulting to the country.”

I’m surprised he showed such restraint, but I bet behind closed doors he was swearing like a longshoreman, or like my mother, or let’s face it — LIKE ME.

And, I love the fact that Mr. Emanuel refused to speak with Cubs Chairman Tom Ricketts when he phoned the mayor.

There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with Mr. Obama or with anyone for that matter. It’s our right as Americans to voice our dissent — it’s the most patriotic act one can do — short of joining the military. Also, disagreeing with Mr. Obama and his policies does not make one a racist. That argument doesn’t have legs anymore. It’s reactionary and all it does is cause people to shut down. It’s a classic turd-stirrer and counterproductive.

I don’t agree with all of his policies either. Racist? Fuck you & fuck no. I just happen to hate war and pandering to Wall Street and big oil, and screwing the environment — but hey, that’s just me.

However, what the Ricketts Plan was calling for was filled with vitriol and 4-year old arguments that don’t hold water anymore. We’re not that dumb, Mr. Ricketts, and all you did was show the world how desperate you and the Republican party are. Hiring a conservative, well-spoken blac radio host or media personality to go up against Mr. Obama? Paying black business leaders to say Mr. Obama’s bad for business? Aaaaand that’s not racist how?

Oh and yes, let’s dig up Rev. Wright since that was so successful the first time around when Hillary Clinton brought it up when she was running against Mr. Obama. If Mrs. Clinton couldn’t capitalize from it, then no one can.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright (source: mediaoutrage.wordpress.com)

What this shows is that truth no longer matters to the Republican party. Why aren’t the Republican leaders repudiating this plan? Mr. Romney gave a namby-pamby response some hours after being asked about it. I have a feeling while he was jetting to his next campaign stop, he was being re-programmed.

Let us not forget that Mr. Romney is a member of a church that isn’t exactly pro-minorities, pro-woman and hates gays.

Let us not forget that on Sean Hannity’s radio show back in February, Mr. Romney talked about the importance of bringing up Rev. Wright again since it was “obvious” to Mr. Romney that Mr. Obama was touting making America “less of a Christian nation.”

Plus, it’s been proven that Mr. Romney and Mr. Ricketts are pals and it wouldn’t surprise me if the soon-to-be-GOP candidate was well-aware of what the Super PAC was planning.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s gonna get real ugly on both sides before November.

Too bad Joe Ricketts didn’t have the forethought to dump that money into the Cubs.

What you see is what you get & then some

There’s something so magical about Coco.

Coco

Before you click away in utter disgust and decide to block my blog forever, maybe even report me for being a hack, a fraud OR worse–stooopid–please give me a chance. Who knows–you may even agree with me. If you do, you’ll be a better person for it.

I admire and like Coco because she doesn’t attempt to act smarter than she really is; she doesn’t pretend to be something she isn’t and is happy with who she is. Most important, she appears to not give a shit what others think of her. She’s a gutsy broad who puts it all out there and doesn’t seem to mind the negative press. Hey, she’s making a shitload of cash off of her look, is in what appears to be a happy marriage and cares about those around her. In my book, that’s huge. What do I admire about her the most? She’s not a skinny chick, is proud of it and celebrates her curves. How refreshing!

Coco’s a(n) (in)famous American woman who is comfortable in her own skin–a rare species here since we are trained from early on to despise ourselves for not being pretty, smart or thin enough. Or, for being too pretty, smart and thin. Those of us who dare attempt to break out of this hobbling, disgusting mold, are chastised and called selfish bitches. Hey, argue with me allll you want. Tell me I’m wrong with your so-called well-thought out arguments about how women have more power than ever before and I’ll listen quietly. Then, when you’re finished, I’ll hand you a stack of fashion pubs & suggest you take a gander at the photos and ads & hopefully you’ll see how all of the models are in dire need of a couple dozen Sliders–then try that lame-ass argument again.

The constant barrage of Biafra-esque thin women that grace the media, plus the multi-billion dollar diet & plastic surgery industries in this country, are constantly telling women we’re not good enough physically. Sure, we’ve made huge strides as women, but we’re still harshly judged by our looks over our intelligence and wit. If you don’t believe me, think back to how horrible folks were toward Hillary Clinton’s looks when she was running for President. Same with Sara Palin–yep, I said it. There was a lot of ridiculous attention paid to her looks–it even had me shaking my head because I noticed immediately that her room-temperature IQ was more dangerous and important than her appearance. Fortunately, anyone with a pulse realized that too–so we’re safe–for now.

Coco’s not like the Kardashians–who are desperately clawing their way up from the bottom of Crap Mountain to be taken seriously as something other than what they really are–fame whores. These sisters & Mama pimp would appear at the opening of Malaysian whore house if E! was in attendance. Sure, society is to blame for the Kardashian’s success–this culture celebrates mediocrity. How else would you explain Dane Cook, George W. Bush and the entire “Jersey Shore” cast?  But, I will give the K-Klan this much–good move on cashing in on your sibling’s sex tape. Who knew that having tape of your sister’s muff being munched on by a mustachioed gutter dick could prove so profitable?

I wonder what Camille Paglia thinks of Coco. No…. wait…nah…not really.

There is much to say about Coco and whether or not she’s good for us. Maybe I’ll write more about her later, maybe not. But I’ll leave you with what my pal Shannon M. said about this shot:

“That titty is way better looking than all of Janice Dickinson.”

AAAAANNNND SCENE.