Alright, alright, I’m back so y’all can rest your sphincters.
1) It’s time to stop the madness that are Open Letters. First, Sinead sent one to Miley Cyrus for being all slutty, trampy and gauche. Then, I believe another celeb sent one to Ms. Cyrus too, but I don’t care that much to look up who it was.
The latest person to join the fray is Sufjan Stevens.
See, he felt his relevancy slipping, so he decided to send her one too. Celebrities are so insufferable sometimes, you know?
When I stopped icing my head that was paining due to all of the eye rolling I was doing about the ridiculous open letter phenom, I found THIS gem. Have I mentioned how much I love my fellow copy editors?
DEAR SUFJAN: A COPY EDITOR CORRECTS SUFJAN STEVENS’S OPEN LETTER TO MILEY CYRUS
“Singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens wrote an open letter to Miley Cyrus, correcting the grammar in her new song, “#GetItRight.” A VICE editor has copy-edited and corrected Sufjan’s letter to Miley, further suggesting some reading he might enjoy.”
‘Tis a thing of beauty.
Or, click here for a better view.
2) Hey all you New Jersey GOP folks, you’re about as classy as a fart in church. Wink, wink–I love how you’re telling voters not to vote in the US Senate special election on Wednesday, October 16, but to arrive at the poling places on the 15th. Niiiiice. See, you’re not even doing it correctly–you’re supposed to tell the voters to show up the day after the election. Get it? That’s what y’all have done in the past! They’ll never learn. Just like how they’ll never learn that trickle-down economics won’t, and don’t, work. I’ve been following this race closely and it would behoove the Republican candidate, Steve Lonegan, to change his campaign slogan to “That’s Your Problem, Not Mine” because he really is that big of an asshole. While Democrat Cory Booker will probably win this thing, he might want to stay away from vegan strip clubs.
Gail Collins does a much better job at talking about this election, AND Gov. Christie here.
(Side note: When I grow up, I wanna be Gail Collins.)
3) Like the story says, just go with it. Camel toe knickers for me? Why didn’t I think of that??!?
4) It’s all about who you are–on the inside.
Yes, my three readers, you read that correctly: Hello Kitty Breast Implants. You don’t believe me? Feast your peepers.
5) Finally, just watch this. It’s hysterical. Make sure the sound is on too, and that you don’t have issues with the heavy Scottish brogue. I’m sure I could translate for you seeing that these are my people–for a price, of course.