Weekend plans

Being unemployed limits my entertainment choices since I don’t have the cash to do things like eat. So, it’s time to experiment with a few things around the house for fun. When I’m done constructing a blanket out of lint and Kotex maxipads, I’ll make some of these.

(via abeautifulmess.typepad.com)

No, these are blood fudgesicles, they’re made with something better and more life-affirming than blood — RED WINE. You know that thing Jesus turned boring water into that one day when he had nothing better to do.

I love both fudgesicles and red wine, so the person who came up with this combo needs an award.

Here’s the recipe (courtesy of abeautifulmess.typepad.com)

Red Wine Fudgesicles, makes 4-6 popsicles depending on your tray size.

Needed: 1 cup red wine, 1 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips and 1 1/2 cup milk.

In a small pot simmer the wine over low/medium heat for 12-18 minutes, allowing it to reduce. Remove from heat and whisk in the chocolate until completely melted. Stir in the milk. Pour into your popsicle tray and freeze over night. (Note: you can use milk instead of wine for regular fudgesicles.)

As someone who likes to bake, I recommend using the best chocolate and full-fat milk in this recipe. If you’re that paranoid about calories, go eat a carrot and leave the good stuff to those of us who don’t mind nibbling on the bad stuff every once in a while.

Life is short — eat Red Wine Fudgesicles.

More musings on random shit

With this musical revelation, Jesus is gonna come back and beat the crap out of this woman to save the rest of humanity. Some talent should never, ever be allowed to leave Norway.

A fake dick will make its first appearance in space in October. When I heard this earlier today, my response was “Why didn’t I think of this??” I don’t know about y’all, but I feel much better knowing that a sex toy will be vibrating its way through space, maybe looking for moisture on Mars. But, I have two words for this cosmic cock: Black Hole.

I’m alll about organic, but this is too much. The idea of rodent turds mixin’ it up with my morning cuppa joe that’s been infused with a  jug of CoffeeMate French Vanilla creamer and a bucket of Splenda, really makes me just want to give up and start drinking vodka in the morning. If there were turds in vodka, at least the alcohol would kill the germs and kill the necessary brain cells that require one to feel disgust.

Question: Why do people shop at Jared the Galleria of Jewelry? What is wrong with people? Is it that fucking difficult to think for yourself? Or do you like conformity and ugly? This society is doomed, and a little of me dies whenever I see a tee vee ad for this place.

Can’t wait to read this page-long book. “I tried heroin, then woke up years later with a teenage daughter, a dead husband and a new body thanks to plastic surgery.”

Finally, this vid is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time.