Five Things: 11/22/13

No preamble today, so let’s dive in.

1) I mean, really..why NOT make a 5 1/2 hour film about self-loathing and sexual addiction? Wait, it’s been cut down to 4 hours because it, um, isn’t quite marketable. Odd for a director to give up final cut of any film. Really. It is.

Now, I’m not a Von Trier fan at all, and yes, I’ve seen all of his films because for a while there, I was considering cutting off my lady bits with garden shears. I needed to watch a ‘how to’ vid.

What’s really special about this week is the trailer for “Nymphomanic” was released. And, well..just have a look-see.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Von Trier’s editor’s in rehab now.

2) So much for the days of yore when kids would play games like kick-the-can, freeze tag and if they had a pool, Marco Polo. It appears the game du jour is the ‘knockout’ game.

It’s pretty simple really. A kid, usually a teenage boy, runs up on some random stranger on the street and knocks ’em out cold with a punch to the head. That’s all. No robbery, no other type of assault–just a punch–and boom, the victim hits the ground with a thud.

Glad to see that society continues to slide down crap mountain.

3) I get it, you can’t afford to go skiing this year. Sorry about that. But, YOU can fool your friends into thinking you snow-plowed on the bunny hill by doing this….

(via the Daily Mail)

Are they taking the piste? Wearing goggles in tanning booth for ‘fake ski tan’ effect is bizarre new beauty trend

‘Tis true. We’re close to bottoming out as a society, folks. When someone is willing to be a melanoma poster child as an attempt to impress people who probably don’t give a shit about them, it’s time to re-evaluate your life. At this point, you’re just a shell of a person.

Kim Kardashian. Of course. (via the Daily Mail)

Kim Kardashian. Of course. (via the Daily Mail)

Exactly.

4) The people of Stonehenge. (via various)

Screen shot 2013-11-22 at 11.17.00 AM

Screen shot 2013-11-22 at 11.16.37 AM

Screen shot 2013-11-22 at 11.19.52 AMScreen shot 2013-11-22 at 11.19.33 AM

 

I no longer feel the need to bathe.

5) Finally, for those extreme Oprah fans, there’s this little gem.

An Oprah for all sizes! (via Awesomely Luvvie)

An Oprah for all sizes! (via Awesomely Luvvie)

FYI, I’d totally wear the Gene Simmons one though.

Read more about it here.

The Daily #Epicfail-Media Whore Style!

Way to go, NBC.

You deemed the Kardashian klan more important than acknowledging the 3,000+ victims killed in the worst terrorist attack on American soil. Shame on you. The other networks participated in the moment of silence at Ground Zero, along with the Whitehouse, NYPD, NYFD and other municipalities around the country.

Watch the interview here.

Oh, and both the Obama and Romney presidential campaigns decided to suspend their negative ads today. Wow, that’s mighty big of both of them. I can’t wait for the low-brow bickering to start again at midnight! *thrilled*

But, about NBC and their fuck-up. I know boobs are important to media prominence, but we’re talking about the Kardashians.

Wait, I saw what I did there–I’m referring to the female breast, not a dunce or a fool. Huh. Come to think of it, I AM talking about both types of boobs!

However, I digress.

Back to “The Today Show” and the Kardashians — the media whores who’ve contributed jack shit to this society except for giving permission for folks to strive for mediocrity.

And, I’m not just talking about the Kardashians here, *ahem*.

It’ll be interesting to see if the Kardashians have the klass to acknowledge the importance of remembering what happened on September 11, 2001.

Hmm..I wonder if they even know WHAT exactly happened on the horrible day. I highly doubt it.

Musings on random crap redux

I’m back.

I’ve got much to say.

The human race has been busy — and not in a good way.

First, this little tidbit from Good.is

Forced Friends: Want a Job? Give Up Your Facebook Password

Side note: A few months ago, I had two phone interviews where my age came up. During the first one, the M.E. of a publication in Florida flat out asked me how old I was. When I politely reminded him that question was illegal, his response before he hung up on me was, “What are you going to do about it? In this economy, I can ask whatever questions I want! It’s my word against yours!” At first I was outraged and contemplated telling the useless EEOC, but then realized that I’d never want to work for a company where the folks in charge felt the laws were troublesome guidelines rather than binding agreements.

The second place, located in Chicago, tried to be a scosch creative with trying to figure out my age. The youngin’ asked me what type of music I listened to in high school because the company “wanted to get a feel for their prospective employees’ tastes and whatnot.” I saw right through this little ruse, however, and sang the praises of Edith Piaf and Benny Goodman. When the desired answers weren’t flowing threw the black wires, my interviewer tried another angle: “What were your favorite television shows when you were growing up?” Answer: “We didn’t have a television.” The interview was over soon after, and I was bathed in relief.

FYI-I’m not THAT old. Sadly, ageism is alive and well, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Onto the article.

“Concerns about the safety of Facebook profiles are valid, especially as the company grows and people share more information on the site. Facebook has had frightening breaches of user trust in the past, and some questions about where its loyalties lie—with consumers or with corporations—remain unanswered. Nobody can predict whether Facebook will end up taking advantage of the information provided by the millions of people who log into it every hour. But while Facebook itself waffles between creepy and benevolent, it turns out some people are using the site to get downright evil when it comes to online privacy.

An in-depth report from MSNBC reveals numerous documented instances of American colleges and employers demanding that students, employees, and applicants open up their Facebook profiles for review. Tecca.com reported last year on a police department in North Carolina that asked people applying for a clerical job, “Do you have any web page accounts such as Facebook, Myspace, etc.? If so, list your username and password.” The Maryland Department of Corrections also asked applicants to hand over their passwords, until an ACLU complaint killed that practice. Still, some applicants report being asked in interviews to log into their Facebook profiles and allow the interviewer to look over their shoulder while they click around their photos and wall posts.”

Glad that the ACLU put the kibosh on the whole handing-over-the-passwords bullshit.

“It doesn’t end with the job market. College students—athletes in particular—are also subject to this invasive line of inquiry. In the new player handbook for athletes at the University of North Carolina, a passage reads, “Each team must identify at least one coach or administrator who is responsible for having access to and regularly monitoring the content of team members’ social networking sites and postings. The athletics department also reserves the right to have other staff members monitor athletes’ posts.” Elsewhere, students have been told they have to friend their coaches, thus giving the coaches total access to their accounts.”

Could you imagine being the person who is in charge of lurking around some athlete’s Facebook page? It would either be boring or frustrating — by frustrating I mean I’d want to correct the horrible grammar and spelling I came across.

More …

“To be sure, there are ways to lock down your Facebook account, even from “friends,” but should anyone be forced to to resort to such lengths?”

That’s a good question, and that is why I’m private on Facebook. It’s tough to find me and once you do, you can’t access my account or any info without my permission. Then, once you’re a friend, I’m still tough to figure out.

“In an effort to catch law up with society, two Maryland state legislators are sponsoring a bill that would prevent schools and potential employers from seizing access to people’s social networking sites. In the meantime, it’s important to take note of at least one major factor driving these insane invasions of privacy: the terrible economy.

It’s simple: In a world in which options are plentiful, people don’t subject themselves to totalitarianism in order to secure employment. They go to a job interview, and when the interviewer starts demanding to rifle through their personal digital lives, they get up and leave, confident they can go somewhere else for work. The reason anyone is allowing potential employers to treat them like this is because a job is hard to come by these days, and so you do whatever you can to get employed—even if that means having your right to privacy trampled. Illegal immigrants have suffered with this “steady employment vs. avoiding abuse” dilemma for years. Now it’s come to the Maryland Department of Corrections. When economic stability erodes, so does the list of things people won’t do to get that stability back.”

Simply put, employers can do sneaky stuff to prospective employees because the economy is in the shitter, and since so many folks are looking for work, we are more than likely to put up with all of it. Like the article states, hopefully these questionable screening tactics will fall by the wayside once the economy improves. Who knows when that will happen though.

Onward.

Some things are just too gross to discuss. My stomach hurts just thinking about ingesting this.

These have got to be the ugliest fucking things I’ve ever laid my hazel eyes upon. Looks like Mr. West is spending too much time with a glue gun and believing his minions when they spew the words “genius” and “renaissance man” in the same breath as his name. Also, any stylist (even the trash peddlers Kim Kardashian hires) who thinks this is a good look, should consider spending some quality time at Trembling Acres and give E.S.T. a try, AND invest in a good mirror. But, for fun, look at them again. Then again. And again and eventually you’ll either want to gouge your eyes out with a spork, or will want to move to Death Valley, never to return.

And last but not least, I have a feeling that the throw-up I just produced in my mouth, tastes a lot like this stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What you see is what you get & then some

There’s something so magical about Coco.

Coco

Before you click away in utter disgust and decide to block my blog forever, maybe even report me for being a hack, a fraud OR worse–stooopid–please give me a chance. Who knows–you may even agree with me. If you do, you’ll be a better person for it.

I admire and like Coco because she doesn’t attempt to act smarter than she really is; she doesn’t pretend to be something she isn’t and is happy with who she is. Most important, she appears to not give a shit what others think of her. She’s a gutsy broad who puts it all out there and doesn’t seem to mind the negative press. Hey, she’s making a shitload of cash off of her look, is in what appears to be a happy marriage and cares about those around her. In my book, that’s huge. What do I admire about her the most? She’s not a skinny chick, is proud of it and celebrates her curves. How refreshing!

Coco’s a(n) (in)famous American woman who is comfortable in her own skin–a rare species here since we are trained from early on to despise ourselves for not being pretty, smart or thin enough. Or, for being too pretty, smart and thin. Those of us who dare attempt to break out of this hobbling, disgusting mold, are chastised and called selfish bitches. Hey, argue with me allll you want. Tell me I’m wrong with your so-called well-thought out arguments about how women have more power than ever before and I’ll listen quietly. Then, when you’re finished, I’ll hand you a stack of fashion pubs & suggest you take a gander at the photos and ads & hopefully you’ll see how all of the models are in dire need of a couple dozen Sliders–then try that lame-ass argument again.

The constant barrage of Biafra-esque thin women that grace the media, plus the multi-billion dollar diet & plastic surgery industries in this country, are constantly telling women we’re not good enough physically. Sure, we’ve made huge strides as women, but we’re still harshly judged by our looks over our intelligence and wit. If you don’t believe me, think back to how horrible folks were toward Hillary Clinton’s looks when she was running for President. Same with Sara Palin–yep, I said it. There was a lot of ridiculous attention paid to her looks–it even had me shaking my head because I noticed immediately that her room-temperature IQ was more dangerous and important than her appearance. Fortunately, anyone with a pulse realized that too–so we’re safe–for now.

Coco’s not like the Kardashians–who are desperately clawing their way up from the bottom of Crap Mountain to be taken seriously as something other than what they really are–fame whores. These sisters & Mama pimp would appear at the opening of Malaysian whore house if E! was in attendance. Sure, society is to blame for the Kardashian’s success–this culture celebrates mediocrity. How else would you explain Dane Cook, George W. Bush and the entire “Jersey Shore” cast?  But, I will give the K-Klan this much–good move on cashing in on your sibling’s sex tape. Who knew that having tape of your sister’s muff being munched on by a mustachioed gutter dick could prove so profitable?

I wonder what Camille Paglia thinks of Coco. No…. wait…nah…not really.

There is much to say about Coco and whether or not she’s good for us. Maybe I’ll write more about her later, maybe not. But I’ll leave you with what my pal Shannon M. said about this shot:

“That titty is way better looking than all of Janice Dickinson.”

AAAAANNNND SCENE.