“Get in the ring”

It’s no secret that I follow politics. Why do I torture myself you ask? Oh, because I’m an emotional cutter.

But, seriously, I follow politics because I love studying human behavior– especially the magic knickers, Kenyan birth certificates, dressage horses, videos from 1998 that have nothing to do with nothing, et al. It’s all fascinating to me.

Each presidential election cycle is more whacked-out than the previous one, and as we draw closer to Election Day, I find myself saying on an almost hourly basis “Well, just when I thought it couldn’t get any whackier, ______ happens.”

In this particular case, ______ is our favorite pearl clutcher, Ann Romney. Take a listen to the clip below from an interview Mrs. Romney gave to an Iowa radio station yesterday. The fun starts about 1:23 in.

http://www.radioiowa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/AnnRomneyInterview.mp3

So, this got me thinking (I know, there I go, working without tools again)….Hmmm…

Sure, I can go into the usual talking points about how her husband is basically a spineless chump who is shaking his campaign Etch-A-Sketch on a daily basis, or how he’s pandering to a particularly dangerous segment of his base who believes that Obama wasn’t born here, but that’s just too easy. Plus, it’s been done.

Instead, I’ve decided to have some fun with “Stop it. This is hard” and Mr. Romney’s recent 47 percent gaffe. You’ll see and please, feel free to join in on the fun.

“Stop it. This is hard. Sometimes I have to drive one of my many Cadillacs through neighborhoods inhabited by 47 percenters in order to get to one of my mansions. I don’t like white-knuckling it.”

“Stop it. This is hard. I had a horse in the Olympics and it was so difficult making sure he had the correct hoof polish.”

“Stop it. This is hard. I didn’t know what to do with the tax write-off Rafalca  awarded us, so I bought some fur-lined mom jeans for Mitt.”

“Stop it. This is hard. You try having conversations with some of your husband’s 47 percenter campaign staffers! I LOATHE talking to serfs!”

“Stop it. This is hard. I have to pretend I like people who aren’t exactly like me.”

“Stop it. This is hard. We had to sell stock to get to this place.”

“Stop it. This is hard. You try being married to a man who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.”

“Stop it. This is hard. You know how difficult it is to get John Boehner to cry about someone he doesn’t give a red rat’s ass about?”

“Stop it. This is hard. Why didn’t those bitches at the RNC 2012 believe my insincere “I love you” during my duller-than-paste speech?”

“Stop it. This is hard. I just learned that some LGBT folks have families. They’re ruining my America.”

If I had a nickel for every time the Romneys said something stupid, I’d be in their tax bracket.

Aaaand SCENE.

Election Season Follies Part One: Shitstorm in Chicago

There are roughly six months until the presidential election and we’re already witnessing some of the most disgusting, fucked-up, asshole behavior by some of our fellow Americans.

Joe Ricketts (photo from USA Today)

Earlier in the week we heard about the this race-baiting bomb of crap ad campaign that was perpetrated by the patriarch of the family who owns the Chicago Cubs. The Super PAC that Papa Ricketts is funding failed to take into account that the Ricketts fam is desperately trying to get Illinois tax payers to foot the bill for the multi-million dollar Wrigley Field rehab.

Oops.

There’s one thing you don’t do if you want to survive: You don’t fuck with Chicagoans.

We have long memories and rugged attitudes when it comes to folks who try to shit on the city, its denizens and especially its beloved Cubbies. Oh, and we don’t take kindly to anyone — especially well-known, high-profile Chicago businessmen — who diss the President of the United States who, um, also hails from Chicago. (NOTE: I’m not a baseball fan at all, but out of respect for my friends, I’ll hold off on my opinions about the sport & the Cubs.) The team is actually owned and run by two of  Joe Ricketts’s children — daughter Laura who’s active in the LGBT community and is a bundler for the Obama campaign; and her brother Tom, who’s the CEO of  Chicago/Boca Raton, FLA. investment bank, Incapital LLC and is a director of TD Ameritrade Holding Corporation (father Joe founded the company). In 2006, the other brother, Peter Ricketts ran for US Senate in Nebraska against incumbent Democrat Ben Nelson on the anti-gay marriage, anti-LGBT and anti-abortion train. Mr. Ricketts was soundly defeated.

UPDATE: 4:25 PM, PT. I forgot about Todd Ricketts. Here’s his bio, thanks to Deadspin.com:

“Todd Ricketts, the cool one: Todd’s 42, the baby of the family. He’s on the board of the Cubs. He lives in Chicago. He jokingly called himself “the rebellious one” because he didn’t attend University of Chicago for undergrad—he went to Loyola University—and he dropped out of U of C’s Booth business school before he finished his MBA. But as far as Ricketts siblings go, he’s got cultural cred. He did an episode of Undercover Boss. He owns some bike shops and picks his kids up from school on a bike. He’s on the Ameritrade board, but he’s only on one committee. He gave a little money to three Republicans—Mitt Romney and Illinois Reps. Bobby Schilling and Adam Kinzinger—but he hasn’t run for office.”

I watched as Mayor Rahm Emanuel did his best to control himself as he spoke to the media about the Ricketts’s-backed plan:

“I don’t think that’s fitting in a campaign of any nature,” Emanuel said. “You can have disagreements without being disagreeable.”

“America is too great a country with too great a future with the content they are talking about,” added the mayor. “And it’s insulting to the president, it’s insulting to the country.”

I’m surprised he showed such restraint, but I bet behind closed doors he was swearing like a longshoreman, or like my mother, or let’s face it — LIKE ME.

And, I love the fact that Mr. Emanuel refused to speak with Cubs Chairman Tom Ricketts when he phoned the mayor.

There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with Mr. Obama or with anyone for that matter. It’s our right as Americans to voice our dissent — it’s the most patriotic act one can do — short of joining the military. Also, disagreeing with Mr. Obama and his policies does not make one a racist. That argument doesn’t have legs anymore. It’s reactionary and all it does is cause people to shut down. It’s a classic turd-stirrer and counterproductive.

I don’t agree with all of his policies either. Racist? Fuck you & fuck no. I just happen to hate war and pandering to Wall Street and big oil, and screwing the environment — but hey, that’s just me.

However, what the Ricketts Plan was calling for was filled with vitriol and 4-year old arguments that don’t hold water anymore. We’re not that dumb, Mr. Ricketts, and all you did was show the world how desperate you and the Republican party are. Hiring a conservative, well-spoken blac radio host or media personality to go up against Mr. Obama? Paying black business leaders to say Mr. Obama’s bad for business? Aaaaand that’s not racist how?

Oh and yes, let’s dig up Rev. Wright since that was so successful the first time around when Hillary Clinton brought it up when she was running against Mr. Obama. If Mrs. Clinton couldn’t capitalize from it, then no one can.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright (source: mediaoutrage.wordpress.com)

What this shows is that truth no longer matters to the Republican party. Why aren’t the Republican leaders repudiating this plan? Mr. Romney gave a namby-pamby response some hours after being asked about it. I have a feeling while he was jetting to his next campaign stop, he was being re-programmed.

Let us not forget that Mr. Romney is a member of a church that isn’t exactly pro-minorities, pro-woman and hates gays.

Let us not forget that on Sean Hannity’s radio show back in February, Mr. Romney talked about the importance of bringing up Rev. Wright again since it was “obvious” to Mr. Romney that Mr. Obama was touting making America “less of a Christian nation.”

Plus, it’s been proven that Mr. Romney and Mr. Ricketts are pals and it wouldn’t surprise me if the soon-to-be-GOP candidate was well-aware of what the Super PAC was planning.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s gonna get real ugly on both sides before November.

Too bad Joe Ricketts didn’t have the forethought to dump that money into the Cubs.