Aww…what a nice mama!

We all know my history with spiders. I’ve mentioned it before here, here and in many a-conversation.

Apparently, spiders are like humans when it comes to carrying their bebehs around. You don’t believe me? Well, you’ll see soon enough.

From Gizmodo.

This Horrifying Spider Is The Only One That

Carries Her Babies Like a Human Mother

Would

No, no no no no no no no no no no n o n o NO NO NO NOOOOOO I did NOT just read that headline. That’s total bullshit. No way. Even opening and closing my eyes real fast, and doing Jell-O shots did not clear that headline from my noggin.

So, I kept reading because I’m an emotional cutter.

“If there’s an image that summarizes my idea of complete horror, this is it: a wolf spider carrying dozens of babies on her back. It’s the only spider in the world that does this.

It’s also the only spider that carriers her eggs in a round silken globe attached to her abdomen, like a human would carry a growing baby. After a gestation of 9 to 27 days—it varies depending on the temperature—the eggs hatch and the infant spiders move onto the mother’s back until they are old enough to hunt on their own.”

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk… my skin is starting to crawl.

Don’t believe me?? Here’s A VIDEO OF THIS ARACHNID.

“These spiders are all around the world, billions of individuals living in gardens everywhere. They are voracious predators, roaming the soil under the ground looking for other spiders and insects to eat. Sometimes, they wander into houses.

When I was living in Miami I had an encounter with one of these wolf spiders, one that was burned into my retina. I remember the hairy bastard walking down the rug of my bedroom, my girlfriend screaming, me using a shoe to kill it and then what I remember being two hundred thousand little spiders running everywhere. Then I screamed more than my girlfriend—because I hate spiders like that. [Spirderzrule—Thanks Karl!]”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find a hermitically sealed abode that has lots of booze, chocolate and porn. But no spiders. Peace out.

Welcome to the city of short memories

Apparently, some of my fellow Chicagoans can’t seem to remember if they live here or in Miami. Don’t know what I’m referring to? Take a gander. Thanks to CBS Chicago for the clip.

via First Snow Comes Late, Makes Commutes Slippery.

So, the horrible snowstorm that included “thundersnow” we had back in February, is lost on most of this city’s denizens.

   

Folks seem to forget the fact that you cannot drive like Dale Jr. once any type of moisture starts plummeting from the sky. I don’t care if you drive the self-proclaimed “safest car out there”, smugness-inducing Volvo, the car you drive is only as safe as YOU are. Plus, driving like a douche puts other innocent folks who actually respect the wrath of Mother Nature in serious danger. If one of y’all hits me and causes harm, I’m comin’ at you HARD. Not just pimp hard, but McCrabass hard.

What’s sad is three people died in car crashes due to the weather.

Side note: If something freaks Jim Cantore out THIS MUCH, you know it’s awesome–

The Versatile Blogger Award

I would like to thank whomever thought of this award, and for giving a kid from a West suburban, upper-middle class background a chance! I don’t know where I’d be without a stable family, a good education and the opportunities awarded to someone of my class.

Today, I sit at my MacBook Pro before my two cats, a messy apartment, “The Town” showing on HBO for the gazillionth time, a winner of the Versatile Blogger Award. Who is responsible for bestowing this honor upon McCrabass? Why it’s none other than the fabulous Sandra who writes the faboo blog, She Can’t Be Serious.  This also means that someone chose my blog as one of their 15 featured blogs. My mission, along with walking the Earth and ridding it all things bad with my Ouiser Boudreaux wisdom, is to pay it forward by honoring 15 blogs I find to be apex of awesome.

During my tenure as an award recipient, I must agree to the following conditions:

1) Thank the person who gave me this award and link them back to their post.

2) Share 7 things about myself.

3) Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs and let them know about it!

First, about McCrabass..

1) I worked in Hollywood for a long time in post-production. I actually worked in the field I got my degree it–a first for many and very rare in this day and age. I left because I got tired of being treated like crap by a handful of people who had all the power–undeserved power. Being yelled at by someone because their Starbuck’s wasn’t foamy enough is a big bowl of wrong. I don’t care how many men you blew to get your job.

2) I’ve had the chicken pox twice, and have been bitten by a Black Widow Spider once.

3) When I say no, I mean it.

4) Contrary to what the public seems to think, I don’t think clipped cat hair would make a good sweater.

5) I could watch “Godfather Pts I & II” over and over again. Same with “Just Wright.” Somewhere between those three choices is sanity.

6) The most unusual job I ever had was editing porn.

7) If you tell my parents about #6, I’ll have to hunt you down and cover you in cock rings.

Now, for the blogs I dig and are now also worthy recipients of the Versatile Blogger Award. Some are funny, some more serious, but they’re all worth a look. Please check them out–I know you’ll find something within them you enjoy. If not, you’re dead inside.

Geneva Daily Photo

Squathole 

If Weather Was a Dick, It’d be …

Candy Coated Rose Petals

Office Crap

Tortoise off On a Wild Hare!

Robert Loerzel 

Samalamadingdong

Poorly Dressed People 

Lame Adventures

Sally Duros

Throw Grammar From the Train

What’s With *Today* Today

Bindy Fry’s Itty Bitty Brain Basket

MarkCz

I’ll probably add more over the next few days. Until then, please read them. Hell, even subscribe to them. They’re worth it. Trust me!