Happy Mother’s Day! **NSFW**

Sometimes, even if you’re semi-famous for taking your threads off and flashing your chocha for all the world to see, it’s never a good idea to give your beau a blowie on a beach because you never know how long the lens is that’s trained on you …. mom.

Of course there’s more.

There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Head of the class

Hey gals! Feeling bored with your current career, or are you just bored in general and need a new hobby? Check this out.

Here’s the ad in its full glory (read=unedited by McCrabass) since I’m sure it’ll be pulled from Craigslist soon.

(thanks to Anthony Burke Boylan for alerting me to this.)

12/5-12/19: PORN STAR TRAINING (CHICAGO)


Date: 2011-12-05, 7:26PM CST
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]


PORN STAR TRAINNING , FOR WOMEN ONLY * . Accepting new Female students of ADULT FILMS . All students must be at least 18 years of age , or Older ! ! ! The Average Woman ; who works in The ADULT FILM INDUSTRY is paid $500.00 per scene . But a Woman must have the acquired skills ; in filmming various scenes – such as : ORAL , TEASING , MASTURBATION , REVERSE COWGIRL , & ANAL … Sign-up and learn how to do : ORAL SCENES , ANAL SCENES , GIRL ON GIRL SCENES , REVERSE COWGIRL SCENES *** Disclaimer : We Do Not Pay , For Scenes – or Anything Else ! Learn how to DOGGIE STYLE – The Right Way ! Learn how to REVERSE COWGIRL – The Right Way ! Learn how to GIVE & RECEIVE GOOD ORAL – The Right Way ! Learn how to TEASE – The Right Way ! This is for Women ; who are interested ; in working in ADULT FILMS , or ADULT ENTERTAINMENT * . Classes are held on : SATURDAYS 12:00PM – 6:30PM ; SUNDAYS 12:00PM – 6:30PM ; MONDAYS 7:00PM – 10:00PM ; and TUESDAYS 7:00PM – 10:00PM . Location : CHEAP THRILLS PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO : 8223 South WOODLAWN Avenue , CHICAGO , IL. 60619 . Telephone : 708-582-0286 . E-mail : upocman@yahoo.com
  • Location: CHICAGO
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Class is in session!

Ok.. a couple of things caught my eye here. I do know this much about men — most don’t care how women “give and receive good oral” — most are thrilled at the effort and with the fact a woman is truly interested in pleasing them in this way … or so I’ve heard.

Same goes for teasing, anal and doggie-style … or so I’ve heard.

I know nothing of this “reverse cowgirl.” Time to watch some porn.

OR..

I could actually attend a class and learn the proper reverse cowgirl form. Hmm. I’m not working so why not? It’s a great way to learn how to make some sweet moola while learning some very marketable skills. And, if there’s one thing I’ve learned during my 11 months of unemployment in a tight job market, it’s that a gal must have mad skills and be open to learning new things to make herself more attractive to employers — the mo’ unusual the mo’ better.

Just sent an email to the fine gent who posted this ad asking for more info. Stay tuned.

To add to above image, one of my fave album covers of all time.

What you see is what you get & then some

There’s something so magical about Coco.

Coco

Before you click away in utter disgust and decide to block my blog forever, maybe even report me for being a hack, a fraud OR worse–stooopid–please give me a chance. Who knows–you may even agree with me. If you do, you’ll be a better person for it.

I admire and like Coco because she doesn’t attempt to act smarter than she really is; she doesn’t pretend to be something she isn’t and is happy with who she is. Most important, she appears to not give a shit what others think of her. She’s a gutsy broad who puts it all out there and doesn’t seem to mind the negative press. Hey, she’s making a shitload of cash off of her look, is in what appears to be a happy marriage and cares about those around her. In my book, that’s huge. What do I admire about her the most? She’s not a skinny chick, is proud of it and celebrates her curves. How refreshing!

Coco’s a(n) (in)famous American woman who is comfortable in her own skin–a rare species here since we are trained from early on to despise ourselves for not being pretty, smart or thin enough. Or, for being too pretty, smart and thin. Those of us who dare attempt to break out of this hobbling, disgusting mold, are chastised and called selfish bitches. Hey, argue with me allll you want. Tell me I’m wrong with your so-called well-thought out arguments about how women have more power than ever before and I’ll listen quietly. Then, when you’re finished, I’ll hand you a stack of fashion pubs & suggest you take a gander at the photos and ads & hopefully you’ll see how all of the models are in dire need of a couple dozen Sliders–then try that lame-ass argument again.

The constant barrage of Biafra-esque thin women that grace the media, plus the multi-billion dollar diet & plastic surgery industries in this country, are constantly telling women we’re not good enough physically. Sure, we’ve made huge strides as women, but we’re still harshly judged by our looks over our intelligence and wit. If you don’t believe me, think back to how horrible folks were toward Hillary Clinton’s looks when she was running for President. Same with Sara Palin–yep, I said it. There was a lot of ridiculous attention paid to her looks–it even had me shaking my head because I noticed immediately that her room-temperature IQ was more dangerous and important than her appearance. Fortunately, anyone with a pulse realized that too–so we’re safe–for now.

Coco’s not like the Kardashians–who are desperately clawing their way up from the bottom of Crap Mountain to be taken seriously as something other than what they really are–fame whores. These sisters & Mama pimp would appear at the opening of Malaysian whore house if E! was in attendance. Sure, society is to blame for the Kardashian’s success–this culture celebrates mediocrity. How else would you explain Dane Cook, George W. Bush and the entire “Jersey Shore” cast?  But, I will give the K-Klan this much–good move on cashing in on your sibling’s sex tape. Who knew that having tape of your sister’s muff being munched on by a mustachioed gutter dick could prove so profitable?

I wonder what Camille Paglia thinks of Coco. No…. wait…nah…not really.

There is much to say about Coco and whether or not she’s good for us. Maybe I’ll write more about her later, maybe not. But I’ll leave you with what my pal Shannon M. said about this shot:

“That titty is way better looking than all of Janice Dickinson.”

AAAAANNNND SCENE.