Help McCrabass out please…

Do I really need to give a flying fuck/fiddler’s fart/red rat’s ass about these two people? I don’t think I do but all of social media is screaming that I need to make their overvalued lives my moral imperative.

Seriously people, if you’re soooo obsessed about the love life of two pre-moisties who happen to be talentless hacks, then you need to either up the voltage or start drinking heavily–OR BOTH.

No wonder other countries hate us so much.

And then some ..

First, this parody has me giggling uncontrollably. Just watch it — you’ll like it — trust me. (thanks to Braulio B. for this. MWAH!)

“Wouldn’t this fake job be better if these girls could see each other’s cleavage and kiss?”

Sadly, I doubt the boner killers would’ve helped the woman in the next story.

Apparently, overrated comic and whatever he is, Russell Brand, managed to get a tongue lashing by co-star Billy Connolly for insisting a wardrobe assistant flash her delicates at Brand before he donned his costume for the Eric Idle musical “What About Dick?” The story goes that production on the film was delayed for a some time while Brand begged and pleaded with the assistant to flash her boobs for him.

Really?

(image courtesy USA Today)

Brand is supposedly a big star who allegedly has chochas of all shapes/sizes/smells flying at him from all angles at all times of the day and night, and he has to bully some wardrobe assistant (who’s probably just doing that shitty job to beef up her resume so she can get onto something big like, say “Game of Thrones”) for a titty show? Isn’t that what strip clubs are for? Or his ex-wife Katy Perry? Let’s face it –Brand is adored by those who believe that Dane Cook is a comic genius and that the “Twilight” film series ranks up there with anything Scorcese has ever done. In other words, he sucks.

Now, if I had been the wardrobe assistant, I would’ve obliged. Why? Because me shoving my breasticles in Brand’s ironically bearded visage would’ve caused him a certain amount of humiliation and pain. What about harming me? Well, that act would’ve mirrored any Tuesday for me.

Finally, there’s nothing like having a craptastic mother who doesn’t quite grasp the concept of social media and what can happen to you when you post on your Facebook page a video of two kids going at it like pit bulls in a ring.

Ding Dong — social services gets called and the story breaks wide.

Warning: The vid is tough to watch.