Why am I not surprised that most of the gals who were all snatch first for Hef have names like Amber, Brandi(y), Tiffany, Brittany, Ashley, and MIRIAM?
While Miriam is a lovely name, it doesn’t exactly conjure up the image of sexy beaver, bodacious tatas and digging on walks in the rain whilst wearing lingerie from Dress Barn. Miriam to me screams bubbe–the type who steals packets of sugar from restaurants, who has a database filled with “Oh how I’ve suffered” stories locked away in her noggin, who also uses wadded up & used a billion times Kleenex doused in her own spit to clean your dirty face, AND who hands you her comb with the hopes that you’ll do away with the holes in her hair. I think I’ve seen my future ….
While I’m glad my guy prevailed, I must admit it was so fun watching Turd Blossom implode on Fox News. Totally helped to make the victory that much more sweet. I wanna know when after the official announcement that the Kenyan Muslim Socialist Gay Marxist had won re-election that Rove flushed his Smartphone down ye olde toilet because he is so NOT down with getting his ass chewed out by pasty, white billionaires.
Then, there was Bill O’Reilly, who has more chins than a Chinese phonebook, saying how the demographics of this country have changed (no shit, Sherlock) and how people want “stuff.” If that ridiculous, choady, and out-of-touch statement wasn’t offensive enough, there was the “traditional America” quip which in double-speak means “rich, white men are slowly becoming the minority and because of how shitty we’ve been toward those who don’t share our skin color or maleness, we are now in trouuuuble.”
My god–No wonder Romney LOST CALIFORNIA AND ITS 55 ELECTORAL VOTES. He had THIS GUY running his game in the Golden State.
I guess it is true–only the good die young.
Here’s my new, fab-fave, post-election Tumblr.
I hope she shuts the fuck up now.
Finally, my fave election vidya ever.