Dick Soup

Or Dick-on-a-stick, or Prick Pate, Cock au vin, Scrodicken, Testes a la pesto … so… many… possibilities …

I can think of a man or two I’d like to do this to –not the cooking/eating part of course.

(from WPIX.com)

Man Cooks His Own Genitals, Serves Them To Diners

I hear it tastes like chicken.

I was so disappointed when I heard this DIDN’T happen in Florida. But, it’s good to know that human flesh consumption isn’t illegal or frowned upon in Japan. And yes, they’re one of the more civilized societies.

Did any women pay for this meal? Of course not! We don’t pay money to eat dick.

“TOKYO, JAPAN (PIX11)— “[Please retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen …Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location,” was the message that Japanese chef Mao Sugiyama sent out to his Twitter followers on April 8th.

While it may have seemed like a joke, Sugiyama, a self-described “asexual” from Tokyo, was absolutely serious.

In Japan there is no law against the consumption of human flesh, and his bizarre offer attracted 5 diners and many more onlookers, according to the Calorie Lab. The calorie-based food site reportedly called the police after seeing Sugiyama’s tweet, only to be told that there was illegal about what he was doing.

Sugiyama, 22, underwent an operation at an area hospital to remove his penis shaft, testicles and scrotum — making sure that his meat was treated hygienically and that all of the proper waivers were signed by the diners.

The intrepid foodies paid roughly $250 each to feast on Sugiyama’s genitals, which were cooked and garnished with button mushrooms and Italian parsley. Shigenobu Matsuzawa, 29, was one of the five diners and described the meal in a recent blog post. He said the penis was so rubbery and tough that it almost bent his fork, and after a few chews of the severed member he spit it out. The testicles he described as being hard on the outside but filled with a gelatinous center that tasted both fishy and gamey. Sugiyama reportedly told diners that he would be uploading his recipe to the site cookpad.com.

Very graphic photos of the bizarre culinary event are included, view at your own discretion.

I hope my parents don’t read this post.

Good head(ers)

Something must be happening in the news world because some of the headlines I’ve read have been top-notch, A+, guffaw-inducing. Or, editors are finally understanding the wonderful world of SEO.

Of course, the stories are worth a read too, but the real craft — the real stories — are the heds.

Ahem.

Courtesy of Yahoo.com

Angry ex-girlfriend goes ballistic, rips off man’s scrotum

See what the editor did there? Aces.

Let’er rip.

The rest of the story is balls too.

This next one, I don’t even need to read the rest of the story. From Mother Nature Network.

Rocker gets rabies shots after bat urinates in his eye

Torche guitarist Andrew Elstner shares his strange and informative experience on Facebook

 

If you feel the need to move onto the rest (but what’s the point?) of the story, you can here.

When I initially read this hed, I thought the Queen was adopting her new granddaughter in-law. Or, Kate Middleton is adopting the Queen. Or the Queen is pregnant is Kate Middleton. Huh. The main lesson here is never read a hed until after the Ambien fog has lifted.

From The Frisky.

Kate Middleton Forced To Get Pregnant As Adoption Won’t Work For The Queen

Oh, NOW I get it. Duh.

This next one isn’t the most compelling headline, but it’s just so damn cute!

From io9.

Picky hermit crab lives in a multicolored LEGO shell

I love that the hermit crab has been dubbed ‘picky’ when all he really did was want a bigger place to house his gigantic crab ass.

It’s a cute story, natch.

Of course there’s vidya of Harry the Hermit showing off his new digs to his jealous aquarium mates.