Organ Grinder

Life is tough. It is. Just ask this baby.

Monkey tears off tot’s testicle and EATS it during terrifying zoo attack

From The Mirror/UK.

The distressing attack took place at the Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park in Guìyáng, the capital of Guizhou province in Southwest China

Distressing, yeah, that’s putting it mildly. Even though I don’t have a nutsack, I feel this tot’s pain and that’s quite an achievement.

“An eight month old baby is recovering in hospital after a monkey tore off one of his testicles before running away and eating it.

The distressing attack took place at the Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park in Guìyáng, the capital of Guizhou province in Southwest China, according to reports.

The mother was changing her son’s nappy when the animal attacked, ripping off the testicle before dropping it onto the ground.

An elderly man then reportedly picked up the severed appendage but the monkey snatched it from his hand before scampering away and eating it.

The boy’s injury is not life-threatening, Chinese media reports.”

It must really suck being a baby in China. First, the fact that you were even born is a miracle since China is all about zero population growth, and your parents had to beg and bribe in order to become parents. Chinese women have a shit-ton of abortions too, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are several actual Abortionplexes in China that operate 24/7.

I’m cringing yet again. The animal ripped the baby’s tender testicle off, slammed it on the ground and THEN ATE IT?

Good to know that monkeys buy into the 5-second rule. Or, maybe there’s a monkey version that we don’t know about that’s a titch longer and incorporates the use of old men’s hands. I don’t want to know about it either because that would mean I’d have to learn their ways, and I’m having a hard enough time learning the ways of humans. It ain’t pretty, but it has to be done or I’ll be sent to that special place. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

Oh fuck it, here’s a vidya about the story. Enjoy.

Dick Soup

Or Dick-on-a-stick, or Prick Pate, Cock au vin, Scrodicken, Testes a la pesto … so… many… possibilities …

I can think of a man or two I’d like to do this to –not the cooking/eating part of course.

(from WPIX.com)

Man Cooks His Own Genitals, Serves Them To Diners

I hear it tastes like chicken.

I was so disappointed when I heard this DIDN’T happen in Florida. But, it’s good to know that human flesh consumption isn’t illegal or frowned upon in Japan. And yes, they’re one of the more civilized societies.

Did any women pay for this meal? Of course not! We don’t pay money to eat dick.

“TOKYO, JAPAN (PIX11)— “[Please retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen …Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location,” was the message that Japanese chef Mao Sugiyama sent out to his Twitter followers on April 8th.

While it may have seemed like a joke, Sugiyama, a self-described “asexual” from Tokyo, was absolutely serious.

In Japan there is no law against the consumption of human flesh, and his bizarre offer attracted 5 diners and many more onlookers, according to the Calorie Lab. The calorie-based food site reportedly called the police after seeing Sugiyama’s tweet, only to be told that there was illegal about what he was doing.

Sugiyama, 22, underwent an operation at an area hospital to remove his penis shaft, testicles and scrotum — making sure that his meat was treated hygienically and that all of the proper waivers were signed by the diners.

The intrepid foodies paid roughly $250 each to feast on Sugiyama’s genitals, which were cooked and garnished with button mushrooms and Italian parsley. Shigenobu Matsuzawa, 29, was one of the five diners and described the meal in a recent blog post. He said the penis was so rubbery and tough that it almost bent his fork, and after a few chews of the severed member he spit it out. The testicles he described as being hard on the outside but filled with a gelatinous center that tasted both fishy and gamey. Sugiyama reportedly told diners that he would be uploading his recipe to the site cookpad.com.

Very graphic photos of the bizarre culinary event are included, view at your own discretion.

I hope my parents don’t read this post.