Organ Grinder

Life is tough. It is. Just ask this baby.

Monkey tears off tot’s testicle and EATS it during terrifying zoo attack

From The Mirror/UK.

The distressing attack took place at the Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park in Guìyáng, the capital of Guizhou province in Southwest China

Distressing, yeah, that’s putting it mildly. Even though I don’t have a nutsack, I feel this tot’s pain and that’s quite an achievement.

“An eight month old baby is recovering in hospital after a monkey tore off one of his testicles before running away and eating it.

The distressing attack took place at the Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park in Guìyáng, the capital of Guizhou province in Southwest China, according to reports.

The mother was changing her son’s nappy when the animal attacked, ripping off the testicle before dropping it onto the ground.

An elderly man then reportedly picked up the severed appendage but the monkey snatched it from his hand before scampering away and eating it.

The boy’s injury is not life-threatening, Chinese media reports.”

It must really suck being a baby in China. First, the fact that you were even born is a miracle since China is all about zero population growth, and your parents had to beg and bribe in order to become parents. Chinese women have a shit-ton of abortions too, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are several actual Abortionplexes in China that operate 24/7.

I’m cringing yet again. The animal ripped the baby’s tender testicle off, slammed it on the ground and THEN ATE IT?

Good to know that monkeys buy into the 5-second rule. Or, maybe there’s a monkey version that we don’t know about that’s a titch longer and incorporates the use of old men’s hands. I don’t want to know about it either because that would mean I’d have to learn their ways, and I’m having a hard enough time learning the ways of humans. It ain’t pretty, but it has to be done or I’ll be sent to that special place. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

Oh fuck it, here’s a vidya about the story. Enjoy.

Can You Get the Door For Me? THANKS!

News flash for those of you who aren’t paying attention: I’m a curious critter by nature. I read a lot, I like to try new things, I seek out new experiences—you get the idea. I get curiouser and curiouser with each passing day. Tis a blessing and well, a curse. Why a curse? You’ll see in a sec.

The Internets have added so much to my curious ways–mostly for the better, but then there are instances when I just want to poke my eyes out with a sharp stick then move to Antartica where nothing of this sort could EVER hurt me.

This is one of those instances.

Here.

Can’t really see it? Allow me to open up your world just a wee bit more.

ERMAGHERD!!

ERMAGHERD!!

ERP A DERP IS THERE FOOD HERE?

ERP A DERP IS THERE FOOD HERE?

"I heard you needed pest control!"

“I’d like to talk to you today about religion.”

Sometimes I think this blog should be equipped with a defibrillator because posts like THIS and the ones about arachnids and clowns, tend to make my heart stop cold. I’m sure it does the same for my three readers.

This is how I roll folks– zombies, Freddy and aliens don’t scare me. This kind of shit scares me because it’s real. It’s a living, breathing being and not something that was created in one’s mom’s basement whilst wearing worn out boxers that have been hanging off one’s ass since high school.

Evolution decided King Cobras were a necessity to this planet for whatever gat-damn reason.

More like a necessary evil.

All I know is, that’s one more door I won’t be opening.